Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
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Comments (177)
CFR 0
lol it`s not foreplay, but he`s right, it is "fun"
AdvocataDiaboli 0
Umm... I agree, pretty funny. I'd laugh. Heck, I do, when my boyfriend occasionally does that. So yeah, him playing with her boobs, not FML. But I think everyone is missing the point -- if that is the extent of the foreplay, he is fail. Imagine a girl making elephant noises with your penis or ping-pong with your balls to try to arouse you (unless you're some pathetic 15 year old, in which case "OMGZ GURL TOUGHIN ME" will turn you on I guess).
gemstar_fml 0
LOL Thats cute and hilarious. Sorry that your boyfriend has a sense of humour and feels comfortable around you? You have such a terrible life! :o
vanaathiel 13
I have a humorous boyfriend and its great, lol but even this is drawing the line between humorous and creepy!! Not sure many women would be into this.....guys, would you be into your girlfriends giving your penis a name and treating it like a puppet??
funkmuffin 0
yes
craznazn247 0
Heck yeah! :D
Yagamiii 0
lollllllllllllllly :']
Hurleygal 0
lol i love this fml wat did he name them lol
Hurleygal 0
What **** is he watchin?!?lol
GFLiE 0
hahaha he's the man!
blahblah18 0
lmao!! that could be fun.....
fxdxhk90 0
Did he motor boat them? Either way, your boyfriend is the man.
StarRawr 0
Haha I got tea all over my computer screen because I lol-ed so hard! Omg that's too cute((: