Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
ReinaJay 13
haha u make it seem like its bad theres actually guys that do alot worse its adorably cute i think
JSmith08 0
lol thats awesome. i would totally do that.
HayItsHaley 0
So boys, how would you like it if us girls grabbed your testicles and squished them together and made them talk?
a23b23x 0
it actually sounds fun, but not the type you should actually do so fyl.
yuki1990 0
Foreplay? yeah he's pathetic, i'd make him go research what foreplay really was.
SarahBabyCakes05 0
hahahaha duuuuude; your boyfriend is about as mature as a 12yearold kid looking at **** for the first time.
Amish_flapper_jr 0
wow. this made me realize that thats my boyfriends idea of foreplay too... fml.
AeternusMiasma 0
Just be glad he didn't pull out a pair of glasses.
KK_320 2
WTF!
Musikal 0
highfive for him!