Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
ashweeeee 0
hahaha my boyfriend does that, I find it incredibly cute. You need to chill >_
babzy 0
so what?
dramakat11 0
Lol, that's cute and funny. Lighten up and enjoy being silly! I'm a pretty serious person so I love how playful and silly my bf is. He helps me laugh and have fun.
abbadizzle 0
That's what you get for dating 14 year olds. no jk jk. Funny though.
lifeisniiice 0
Haha funny boyfriend WIN!!!! Just flip him over and make his butt cheeks talk with your hands.. he'll get the picture and realize he is being dumb.
justanotherhuman 21
well put.
ashapasha 11
My friend's boyfriend does that all the time and he named them and talks to them ALL the time
jmanowski 0
i've done that too many times to count
strawberryswirl 0
My boyfriend blows on mine, like on a belly, and makes farting noises. It's a lot less romantic than what yours does, but I think it's hilarious.
DoctorDoomed_fml 0
I'm going to say, you immediately lose any right to complain about someone you're with due to the irrefutable fact that YOU are dating them. If these are your standards, these are your standards. If you don't like what you pick, then it really is your fault. Want a different guy? Get a different guy. It's like going to your refrigerator and being like, "Man, some idiot bought chocolate milk again. I HATE chocolate milk."
blondie3689 1
That is so cute! Sounds like something my boyfriend would do.