Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

By myusofwe - 6/2/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

I agree, your life sucks

25692

You deserved it

2982

Favorite

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Today, I found out that my roommate has a good voice, because he loudly sings Korean love songs at one in the morning. FML

See the top of the week

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By askullnamedbilly | 33

#6530398 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:12

You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"

By kangx1 | 28

#6530392 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:08

Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

Comments

By kangx1 | 28

#6530392 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:08

Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

jb591 | 10

#6530444 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:42

Damn it you beat me to it.

zahidnasir | 19

#6530460 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:55

just imagining you right.now lol poker face

andrmac | 25

#6530500 - Saturday 6 February 2016 21:29

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Kingsz | 7

#6532148 - Tuesday 9 February 2016 0:00

#39, what...

Xamry14 | 10

#6535090 - Friday 12 February 2016 13:47

Someone made a reference to poker face

Then said maybe he should have tried to "poke her face" first. Get a BJ. To get hard. How did you not get it.

By crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6530395 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:11

You have to give him points for persistence

By Hamden824 | 23

#6530396 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:11

Don't be too hard on him, OP. Maybe he just wasn't feeling up to it.

SavageCabbage | 8

#6530763 - Sunday 7 February 2016 3:49

Hidden puns ;)

By askullnamedbilly | 33

#6530398 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:12

22JB | 11

#6530455 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:51

You are on point lol

crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6530488 - Saturday 6 February 2016 21:21

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

helloimkylieee | 19

#6530530 - Saturday 6 February 2016 22:17

#35- still pretty creepy with the excuse and apology.

askullnamedbilly | 33

#6530538 - Saturday 6 February 2016 22:32

Funnily enough, I'd only just uploaded a profile picture showing my face about 5 minutes before that comment was posted.

Mynamewontfi | 40

#6530588 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:00

#35 It's extra creepy knowing this isn't the first time you've commented on a much younger than you girls appearance on here.

JKPwnage | 25

#6530811 - Sunday 7 February 2016 5:06

Because sex is relatively hard to come by for guys.

SookyLala | 13

#6530850 - Sunday 7 February 2016 5:51

#5 we're stubborn

MariaGiovanni | 25

#6531455 - Monday 8 February 2016 0:52

Even creepier when on his bio it says "There's an astonishing amount of gorgeous women on here, although being married gives you permanent beer goggles."
um what?! Saying you're married actually makes it worse not better.

The_Potato_Lord | 15

#6531601 - Monday 8 February 2016 5:07

#35 your son is adorable

Chromaggia | 11

#6532071 - Monday 8 February 2016 22:11

I was confused when I first read your comment because I forgot that you can have multiple pictures, and in his icon he is holding a fish. I was just like, "There must be something terribly wrong with his daughter"

HonestPie | 10

#6532313 - Tuesday 9 February 2016 4:49

He's just joking. Geez, give him a break. So getting married means you can't pay anyone a compliment?

Xamry14 | 10

#6535092 - Friday 12 February 2016 13:48

Plus that's really disrespectful to his wife. Sounds like a low life to me.

mswim | 27

#6543319 - Tuesday 23 February 2016 17:46

He's married, doesn't make him not human.

My boyfriend and I compliment others on their beauty all the time. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you can't appreciate how pretty others are.

By thatsjustgreat1 | 16

#6530399 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:13

I guess it goes to show that the first times aren't always hard.

thatonechicksaid | 12

#6531847 - Monday 8 February 2016 13:36

ayyy

blueotcxx | 2

#6534849 - Friday 12 February 2016 6:25

Baddum tsssss.

By cheeeksss | 29

#6530400 - Saturday 6 February 2016 20:13

Tell him you two can try again another time. That way you have another opportunity with him and you not rejecting him may raise his confidence to perform better next time.