By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Spicy
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 825
You deserved it 3 003

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You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"

Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

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Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

Damn it you beat me to it.

just imagining you right.now lol poker face

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#39, what...

Someone made a reference to poker face Then said maybe he should have tried to "poke her face" first. Get a BJ. To get hard. How did you not get it.

You have to give him points for persistence

Don't be too hard on him, OP. Maybe he just wasn't feeling up to it.

You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"

You are on point lol

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#35- still pretty creepy with the excuse and apology.

Funnily enough, I'd only just uploaded a profile picture showing my face about 5 minutes before that comment was posted.

#35 It's extra creepy knowing this isn't the first time you've commented on a much younger than you girls appearance on here.

Because sex is relatively hard to come by for guys.

#5 we're stubborn

Even creepier when on his bio it says "There's an astonishing amount of gorgeous women on here, although being married gives you permanent beer goggles." um what?! Saying you're married actually makes it worse not better.

#35 your son is adorable

I was confused when I first read your comment because I forgot that you can have multiple pictures, and in his icon he is holding a fish. I was just like, "There must be something terribly wrong with his daughter"

He's just joking. Geez, give him a break. So getting married means you can't pay anyone a compliment?

Plus that's really disrespectful to his wife. Sounds like a low life to me.

He's married, doesn't make him not human. My boyfriend and I compliment others on their beauty all the time. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you can't appreciate how pretty others are.

I guess it goes to show that the first times aren't always hard.

Tell him you two can try again another time. That way you have another opportunity with him and you not rejecting him may raise his confidence to perform better next time.

Doesn't sound like he performed this time. Trying another time does make sense if you are into him.

That's exactly why I said perform better next time...

A for effort on his part

I thought "A" was for anal or maybe that's why she yelled at me?

I thought A was for abstinence. According to We're The Millers, a reliable source.

Try not to be too hard on the guy. It happens sometimes... Guys get nervous about sex too, especially when it's with someone they're really in to.

truth. try not to be too disappointed, op. sounds like he really wanted to. better luck next time!

Agreed! Had a BF that for the first month sometimes we would have this situation occur. After we had time to get used to each other things got better

Sometimes, it's okay to help the guy rise to occasion. it's called foreplay.

How do you know they didn't try foreplay first? If you're nervous or have a medical issue or something no amount of foreplay will help.

The OP would have mentioned it. I mean, OP could have tried to give a bit of head to help.

It was too cold to get excited, that lil guy is just searching for warmth.