Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
By
myusofwe
- Puerto Rico - Caguas
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By
askullnamedbilly
| 33
You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"
By
kangx1
| 28
Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL
COMMENTS
By
kangx1
| 28
Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL
Reply
jb591
| 10
Damn it you beat me to it.
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zahidnasir
| 22
just imagining you right.now lol poker face
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andrmac
| 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
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Kingsz
| 7
#39, what...
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Xamry14
| 10
Someone made a reference to poker face
Then said maybe he should have tried to "poke her face" first. Get a BJ. To get hard. How did you not get it.
Then said maybe he should have tried to "poke her face" first. Get a BJ. To get hard. How did you not get it.
By
crudeandrudeguy
| 29
You have to give him points for persistence
By
Hamden824
| 23
Don't be too hard on him, OP. Maybe he just wasn't feeling up to it.
Reply
SavageCabbage
| 8
Hidden puns ;)
By
askullnamedbilly
| 33
You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"
Reply
22JB
| 11
You are on point lol
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crudeandrudeguy
| 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
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helloimkylieee
| 19
#35- still pretty creepy with the excuse and apology.
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askullnamedbilly
| 33
Funnily enough, I'd only just uploaded a profile picture showing my face about 5 minutes before that comment was posted.
Reply
Mynamewontfi
| 40
#35 It's extra creepy knowing this isn't the first time you've commented on a much younger than you girls appearance on here.
Reply
JKPwnage
| 25
Because sex is relatively hard to come by for guys.
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SookyLala
| 13
#5 we're stubborn
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MariaGiovanni
| 25
Even creepier when on his bio it says "There's an astonishing amount of gorgeous women on here, although being married gives you permanent beer goggles."
um what?! Saying you're married actually makes it worse not better.
um what?! Saying you're married actually makes it worse not better.
Reply
The_Potato_Lord
| 15
#35 your son is adorable
Reply
Chromaggia
| 11
I was confused when I first read your comment because I forgot that you can have multiple pictures, and in his icon he is holding a fish. I was just like, "There must be something terribly wrong with his daughter"
Reply
HonestPie
| 10
He's just joking. Geez, give him a break. So getting married means you can't pay anyone a compliment?
Reply
Xamry14
| 10
Plus that's really disrespectful to his wife. Sounds like a low life to me.
Reply
mswim
| 27
He's married, doesn't make him not human.
My boyfriend and I compliment others on their beauty all the time. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you can't appreciate how pretty others are.
My boyfriend and I compliment others on their beauty all the time. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you can't appreciate how pretty others are.
By
thatsjustgreat1
| 16
I guess it goes to show that the first times aren't always hard.
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thatonechicksaid
| 12
ayyy
Reply
blueotcxx
| 2
Baddum tsssss.
By
cheeeksss
| 29
Tell him you two can try again another time. That way you have another opportunity with him and you not rejecting him may raise his confidence to perform better next time.
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gobiteme2
| 34
Doesn't sound like he performed this time. Trying another time does make sense if you are into him.
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cheeeksss
| 29
That's exactly why I said perform better next time...
By
BlueBaronBitch
| 22
A for effort on his part
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brenton490
| 19
I thought "A" was for anal or maybe that's why she yelled at me?
Reply
cheeeksss
| 29
I thought A was for abstinence. According to We're The Millers, a reliable source.
By
GrinchFu1
| 27
Try not to be too hard on the guy. It happens sometimes... Guys get nervous about sex too, especially when it's with someone they're really in to.
Reply
Kittyphysics
| 21
truth. try not to be too disappointed, op. sounds like he really wanted to. better luck next time!
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cherokeespirit
| 3
Agreed! Had a BF that for the first month sometimes we would have this situation occur. After we had time to get used to each other things got better
By
CoupeDeAce
| 6
Sometimes, it's okay to help the guy rise to occasion. it's called foreplay.
Reply
fakedsincerity
| 32
How do you know they didn't try foreplay first?
If you're nervous or have a medical issue or something no amount of foreplay will help.
If you're nervous or have a medical issue or something no amount of foreplay will help.
Reply
tantanpanda
| 26
The OP would have mentioned it. I mean, OP could have tried to give a bit of head to help.
By
Dune1988
| 18
It was too cold to get excited, that lil guy is just searching for warmth.