By myusofwe - 06/02/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Spicy
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 891
You deserved it 3 013
Intimacy
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askullnamedbilly 33

You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"

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kangx1 28
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Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

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kangx1 28
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Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL

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jb591 10
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Damn it you beat me to it.

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zahidnasir 22
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just imagining you right.now lol poker face

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andrmac 25

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Kingsz 7
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#39, what...

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Xamry14 10
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Someone made a reference to poker face Then said maybe he should have tried to "poke her face" first. Get a BJ. To get hard. How did you not get it.

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crudeandrudeguy 29
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You have to give him points for persistence

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Hamden824 23
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Don't be too hard on him, OP. Maybe he just wasn't feeling up to it.

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SavageCabbage 8

Hidden puns ;)

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askullnamedbilly 33

You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"

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22JB 11

You are on point lol

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crudeandrudeguy 29
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helloimkylieee 19
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#35- still pretty creepy with the excuse and apology.

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askullnamedbilly 33

Funnily enough, I'd only just uploaded a profile picture showing my face about 5 minutes before that comment was posted.

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Mynamewontfi 40
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#35 It's extra creepy knowing this isn't the first time you've commented on a much younger than you girls appearance on here.

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JKPwnage 26
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Because sex is relatively hard to come by for guys.

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SookyLala 13
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#5 we're stubborn

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MariaGiovanni 25
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Even creepier when on his bio it says "There's an astonishing amount of gorgeous women on here, although being married gives you permanent beer goggles." um what?! Saying you're married actually makes it worse not better.

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The_Potato_Lord 15
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#35 your son is adorable

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Chromaggia 11
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I was confused when I first read your comment because I forgot that you can have multiple pictures, and in his icon he is holding a fish. I was just like, "There must be something terribly wrong with his daughter"

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HonestPie 10
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He's just joking. Geez, give him a break. So getting married means you can't pay anyone a compliment?

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Xamry14 10
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Plus that's really disrespectful to his wife. Sounds like a low life to me.

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mswim 27
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He's married, doesn't make him not human. My boyfriend and I compliment others on their beauty all the time. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you can't appreciate how pretty others are.

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thatsjustgreat1 16
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I guess it goes to show that the first times aren't always hard.

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blueotcxx 2

Baddum tsssss.

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cheeeksss 29
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Tell him you two can try again another time. That way you have another opportunity with him and you not rejecting him may raise his confidence to perform better next time.

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gobiteme2 34

Doesn't sound like he performed this time. Trying another time does make sense if you are into him.

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cheeeksss 29
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That's exactly why I said perform better next time...

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BlueBaronBitch 22
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A for effort on his part

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brenton490 19
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I thought "A" was for anal or maybe that's why she yelled at me?

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cheeeksss 29
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I thought A was for abstinence. According to We're The Millers, a reliable source.

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GrinchFu1 27
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Try not to be too hard on the guy. It happens sometimes... Guys get nervous about sex too, especially when it's with someone they're really in to.

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Kittyphysics 21
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truth. try not to be too disappointed, op. sounds like he really wanted to. better luck next time!

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cherokeespirit 3
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Agreed! Had a BF that for the first month sometimes we would have this situation occur. After we had time to get used to each other things got better

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CoupeDeAce 6
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Sometimes, it's okay to help the guy rise to occasion. it's called foreplay.

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fakedsincerity 32
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How do you know they didn't try foreplay first? If you're nervous or have a medical issue or something no amount of foreplay will help.

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tantanpanda 26

The OP would have mentioned it. I mean, OP could have tried to give a bit of head to help.

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Dune1988 18
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It was too cold to get excited, that lil guy is just searching for warmth.

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