Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
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Top comments
Learxst 0
I lol'd. But here's a thing. Us guys are clueless. If something doesn't feel good, or if he's doing something wrong... tell him. He will correct himself, and it'll be much easier for the both of you.
deathbunny256 0
"Hewwo! My name is Ms Boob! And you aw?"
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Comments (177)
Tubasaurus 0
You severely underestimate how fun that is.
Zario777 0
That must be his idea of foreplay. I applaud him.
Schooler90 0
thats hot sometimes. You aren't into that?? tell him. Not an FML or YDI. Easily fixed
coheedandcambria 0
Second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm gonna get killed by the overly mature Internet police!
LOLPWNTHAHA 0
MANBEARPIG IS REAL IM SUPER SERIAL!!!!!
xxlillyxx 0
@#18 ..... its bad when ppl say first but being 18th n saying 2nd thaz fukin funny.... i feel bad that ur comment was burried....
silly_kate 0
ha ha ha, #20 is an epic win! OP: this is hilarious! at least has a sense of humour!
elboon 0
lol your bf is awesome
xxlillyxx 0
why does ur pic look like weed??? lol
anony_moose 0
because it is
genius_man16 1
lmao #81, what a pointless comment XD and @OP: that is pretty ******* hilarious. Now I know what I'm gonna do the next time my gf and I have some fun ;)
xxlillyxx 0
its not pointles because if you look closely at t on his profile the center loks like it was glued or something... i mean thats some weird lookn weed....
xxlillyxx 0
this is what weed looks like... lol
spillproof 0
whatever makes him happy I guess
iamjtsocool 0
LMFAO That's something I'd do rotflmfao.
diamonds_fml 0
that sounds like my kinda guy
crazyy_shortt 0
Hhahahahahhahahaahahaha LMFAO that's funny
DrAwesome 6
Soo... Where does the problem come in? Heh heh... "come"... lofl. XD
spongebobrocks 0
LOL you remind me of my friends... xD And me. Perv. xD