Today, I was so excited to finally try a new recipe that I found online. After hours of prep, I realized I misread the serving size and ended up cooking enough food to feed a small army. I don't have a freezer and I live in the middle of nowhere. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML
Today, after I'd told everyone I would finally be starting meal prepping to save money, on the very first day, I forgot every container in my fridge, so I still had to buy my lunch during my lunch break. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
Guess it’s time to have a potluck!
RichardPencil 32
Take up competitive eating and start your training by gorging yourself on as much of the dish as possible. Dump the rest in the middle of the road and watch vultures get hit by cars. Look up recipes featuring vulture.
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Comments (5)
TwoBytesCarley 27
Guess it’s time to have a potluck!
RichardPencil 32
Take up competitive eating and start your training by gorging yourself on as much of the dish as possible. Dump the rest in the middle of the road and watch vultures get hit by cars. Look up recipes featuring vulture.
Yudith 28
Since you live in the middle of nowhere, you must have a car, or at least a buggy. The nearest charity will be glad to take this dish off your hands.
dreams2383 20
most food is still good in the fridge for 5 days. looks like you'll be eating that for breakfast, lunch and dinner all week
D J's MOM 17
sooo, during hours of prep, you couldn't tell how much food there would be? lots of wine I guess... lol