Especially if he's shallow enough to list 'your mums lazy eye' as a fair reason to break up.

Are blokes getting dumber by the day or is it just me? What does her mom's eye have to do with their relationship?! utter fuckclump

Fuckclump, that made my day :)

It was for the better OP. Not only did he give lame excuses but he couldn't even do that right. I think you dodged a bullet with this one.

Eh.. This calls for a back-hand bitch slap

You deserve better OP. Cheating bfs arnt worth keeping around especially if they dnt feel bad about cheating.

there are those hit it and quit it duchefucks in this world. they will do anything to get laid then when they're done playing with you they move on to the next one. I was friends with one of those a while ago.

Shit i accidently started reading this as ' today, my mom broke up with me' ._.

taco, its "aren't" and "don't" is it really that hard to put in the 1 extra letter in each word?

Llama, is it really that hard to put an apostrophe between the "it" and the "s" in "it's"? If you're going to be a spelling nazi, at the very least spell words right in your own comments.

My bad. I was never good in english class.

How do you bend tacos? Oh master, please teach me.

Ummm ok I guess. Get tortillas y carne asada.

Then you add the secret formula. This secret formula to the tacos is.....

Maybe he has met your mom. Maybe that's who he's cheating on you with. That would explain why your dad hates him.

#100- good theory! My theory is he is probably just a douche bag :)

Idk. But after each line, my mouth dropped that much more. Then I was like huh?

Maybe he thought she was the other girl? O.o

Dude I clicked, your pic is scary as hell man!!

To me, when I saw his photo, I was just like, "Meh".

I was like, O.O Made my day.

1) Get drunk. 2) Strip naked. 3) Film yourself doing the Mambo in front of a Perdix tribute poster. 4) Post a link to the video in your profile. 5) Receive girlfriend (or hate mail). You are welcome.

Ugh, why can't you thumb up FML team comments??!!

Oh lord! How I wish I can thumbs up sirin's comment

You could man the fuck up and ask a chick out?

19 - They're FML Mods. They already know they're tha shit. Lol

1. go to a public place and find beautiful and desirable women. 2. tell them everything you want to do nasty, sexual things with them (my two girlfriends right now loved it) 3. line your bedroom with rose petals. 4. shut the plantation blinds. 5. oil em up. make the skin soft and silky. 6. shove your rod into one and switch to the other when you get tired. 7. scream their name as you cream onto your racecar sheets. JILL!!! JILL!!! best part is they'll never leave you again and neither one is jealous of the other. and they'll even wipe your ass if you want them to! best. threesome. ever.

There is just so much wrong with your comment, 52... It's a blasphemy.

thanks :) you sound like a fun person.

Two girlfriends, eh? Classsay. (hope you got that hint of sarcasm)

Well if his right hands called Jill he might be telling the truth.

ROFL, taco_bender... :P

Lol #52 What in the fuck did i just read

52, are you sure you're talking about actual girls or those real-life $10000 dolls?

Screw a girlfriend, where can I get a Perdix tribute poster?

Get naked Pour a bucket of glitter all over yourself Stand in the sunshine and the girls will come running

52 that's creepy

Cause they no like us! :...(

You are missing a head, sir

At number 24: read my profile and you'll understand why.

This is FML, not a dating site.

But 49... I'm attracted to your pink fuzzy skin, and FML stands for Future My Lovers

*future made-up lovers/future MMS lovers Or, if you choose to meet up with them, what 54 said/rape

Devin, where's your shirt?!?! I'll help you find it!!

Tool.

Am I the only girl enjoying the ridges and grooves of his eight pack? ^_^

#112 Probably, I prefer cute cuddly boys, meaning, still has a bit of baby fat even at 14.

112 of course not, I'm just assuming he's gay.

I got the best kind of abs... FLABS I'm sexy and i know it

128 thanks for assuming but I'm not gay.

Exactly! :) That's why he's her EX; because he's an EXample of who you shouldn't date.

No shit, bro

Seriously, bro

13- you mad bro?

Bra** she is a girl

Mansiere!

you people have issues.

Well she cant really dump him because he kind of beat her to it

Find a gentleman? In this day and age? You're dreamin'.

Actually, you can find a gentleman; but only if you yourself are a lady.

Not where I'm from!

Where are you from? And don't say the usual - America, where you can only find McCrap munchers...I'm sure there are lovely blokes..you just have to find one, that will take time and a few heartbreaks and you may find yourself eating ice cream and, listening to Adele but you'll get there..good luck

Gothicangel17, was that last FML about the baby/fart you?! :)

113, most the men in QLD a far from gentlemanly. I'm engaged, but my fiancé is far from being a gentleman, just like most other males I've met who aren't older.

118- move to Victoria!

But it's coooooold there D: