By sydmarie98 - United States - Chesapeake Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML I agree, your life sucks 23818 You deserved it 2018 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago. I'm only 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 2445 You deserved it 121 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rinala Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML I agree, your life sucks 25719 You deserved it 3206 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tomato Today, I went with the kids I work with to a roller rink, where there are tons of black lights. Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. Praying no one saw, or realized what it was. FML I agree, your life sucks 2637 You deserved it 3445 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 02:02 - United States - Arlington Always ask for documentation Today, the guy I met on Tinder texted me about our date tomorrow. He seemed nervous. I come to find out his mom overheard us talking on the phone and wants to meet me. I said OK, that’s not big deal. That’s when he told me that he’s actually 17. I now hate myself because I’m 26. FML I agree, your life sucks 1471 You deserved it 213 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dead_Fox - United States - Jonesboro Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 34710 You deserved it 3843 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JJLight - United States - Camarillo Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML I agree, your life sucks 52613 You deserved it 11381 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - France Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML I agree, your life sucks 63108 You deserved it 6057 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniStudi Today I sent a message out to a support group to get and give support following a sexual assault, the person who responded and was giving advice was the person who assaulted me. FML I agree, your life sucks 3641 You deserved it 164 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FYouBoyfriend - United States Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML I agree, your life sucks 45488 You deserved it 16158 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By easyontheeyes1 - 1/5/2020 02:00 Romantic afterglow Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML I agree, your life sucks 1636 You deserved it 417 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML I agree, your life sucks 31037 You deserved it 6302 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cougar26 - United States - Pullman Today, my boss had a breakdown and sent me home early. Apparently my voice reminds him of his abusive stepfather. He said I'm lucky he's on medication. FML I agree, your life sucks 24937 You deserved it 1503 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lucie - United States - Brooklyn Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML I agree, your life sucks 42893 You deserved it 5278 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Socklessandsmelly - United States Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML I agree, your life sucks 19724 You deserved it 47035 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alf - France Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML I agree, your life sucks 74778 You deserved it 7240 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mcmanager - United States - San Francisco Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML I agree, your life sucks 39671 You deserved it 3593 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sparkle - United States Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her Twitter account to complain about me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25797 You deserved it 5804 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fishwizard Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 2703 You deserved it 3849 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuauntflo - 7/7/2020 17:01 Thanks, I'm cured! Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML I agree, your life sucks 1968 You deserved it 164 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fatlady43 - United States Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML I agree, your life sucks 32172 You deserved it 6483 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BahHumbug - United States - Painesville Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML I agree, your life sucks 17913 You deserved it 7818 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ktin - Australia Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML I agree, your life sucks 39354 You deserved it 4854 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bellend - United Kingdom Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML I agree, your life sucks 6601 You deserved it 42462 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foodcomesfirst - United Kingdom Brotherly love Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 34028 You deserved it 3674 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By synyster505 - United States Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 13825 You deserved it 36501 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ILTali - United States Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML I agree, your life sucks 121604 You deserved it 8154 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katy Today, I fell in a vent in our floor while decorating our Christmas tree. My husband removed the grates months ago to increase airflow. I fell in past my knee and he had to pull me out by the arms. It's been four days and I can still barely walk. My office is on a second floor... We don't have an elevator. FML I agree, your life sucks 2312 Phew, glad it wasn't me 279 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Indianapolis Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML I agree, your life sucks 54098 You deserved it 18295 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nell - United States Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML I agree, your life sucks 14430 You deserved it 37294 260 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Iceland Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML I agree, your life sucks 43196 You deserved it 4166 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotRetarded - United States Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML I agree, your life sucks 57941 You deserved it 3840 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyLifeSucks - United States - Houston Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 45895 You deserved it 2794 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smh - United States - Sacramento Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10230 You deserved it 36256 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tamp - United States Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML I agree, your life sucks 18491 You deserved it 71026 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meowtickmeow - United States Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML I agree, your life sucks 32536 You deserved it 2683 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tampax - Spain - Cuenca Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML I agree, your life sucks 44198 You deserved it 3178 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thinking of military school Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML I agree, your life sucks 11389 You deserved it 3578 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fiercehawk - United States - Fort Wayne Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML I agree, your life sucks 60060 You deserved it 5310 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 47533 You deserved it 8822 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lilithfaye - United States Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 27538 You deserved it 6208 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MrThump | 16 #6343199 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:33 Hope you weren't going commando! Send a private message 160 3 Reply
By MakeTodayADTR | 20 #6343210 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:49 Maybe you're just not meant to be in The Sisterhood.. They can keep their travelling pants. Send a private message 108 4 Reply
By football98_fml | 20 #6343192 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:29 I hope you found that out before you actually put the jeans on Send a private message 3 33 Reply
Reply Ms_ValS | 27 #6343209 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:47 I hope OP wore underwear... well if she didn't she kinda deserved it too I mean who goes commando in borrowed pants Send a private message 9 17 Reply
Reply Soundslikeothers | 15 #6343231 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 12:09 This post would be better if neither of you commented on it Send a private message 30 10 Reply
Reply tormcn | 26 #6343469 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 17:18 I don't understand why you're being down voted. Send a private message 4 17 Reply
Reply MikaykayUnicorn | 36 #6343575 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 19:01 Oh god, this thread is a mess. Send a private message 19 2 Reply
Reply bryce0110 | 23 #6343993 - Wednesday 8 July 2015 2:50 Can everyone here re-read the fml, please? Send a private message 7 0 Reply
By hussamhasi | 22 #6343196 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:31 Oh that's bad Send a private message 10 3 Reply
By BaDumTsss_fml | 23 #6343197 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:32 Damn, that sounds painful, OP Send a private message 8 3 Reply
Reply SubparAtBest | 23 #6343256 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 12:52 Yay allergies! Hive-five! Send a private message 1 5 Reply
By echarlotte | 19 #6343198 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:33 Maybe stick to your own jeans from now on Send a private message 4 22 Reply
Reply peacheso | 31 #6343217 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:57 There could be a number of reasons why she had to borrow her friends jeans. Maybe she stained hers... Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By MrThump | 16 #6343199 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:33 Hope you weren't going commando! Send a private message 160 3 Reply
By Killz268 | 18 #6343200 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:33 whatever happened to your pants? Send a private message 7 5 Reply
By xsydneyx123 | 28 #6343202 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:35 Oh no. :( I hope you're okay, OP. I know you were able to post this but please do a follow up and let us know that you're okay. (: Send a private message 11 3 Reply
By Greattitan2 | 13 #6343203 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:37 Only if it was winter so you could cover it more easily Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By MakeTodayADTR | 20 #6343210 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:49 Maybe you're just not meant to be in The Sisterhood.. They can keep their travelling pants. Send a private message 108 4 Reply
By Micool_fml | 14 #6343219 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 11:58 You better take a look down at the Ol' Bearded Clam. Yikes! Send a private message 7 3 Reply
Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head... I agree, your life sucks 260 You deserved it 423 6 Comments
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing.... I agree, your life sucks 217 You deserved it 598 4 Comments