Miscellaneous: Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my...

By Peter C. - United States

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33161

You deserved it

10385

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Miscellaneous

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Leave us alone

Cute trick, asshole

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 19:58 - Germany

The new economy

Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML

I agree, your life sucks

631

You deserved it

839

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By waymoreiwanted - United States - Ashland

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56814

You deserved it

9584

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By Anon. - United Kingdom

Today, I had to look at my positive eBay feedback to feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35961

You deserved it

6200

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32002

You deserved it

3892

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By tempted to become single - United States - Atwater

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks

26218

You deserved it

3147

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By TextLoser - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9845

You deserved it

86542

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38024

You deserved it

5209

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44845

You deserved it

2892

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By bjfail - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22378

You deserved it

4850

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By Anonymous

Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2749

You deserved it

4982

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By Paul Williams - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34304

You deserved it

4461

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By guest - Canada

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25899

You deserved it

3062

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 17:01

Negotiations

Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML

I agree, your life sucks

694

You deserved it

828

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By suchatwat - 9/10/2020 05:02

Alas, poor Doggo

Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

898

You deserved it

214

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By Oops - United States - Augusta

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17700

You deserved it

30570

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By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26799

You deserved it

1971

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By Stressed_Out_Student

That's a lot of damage!

Today, I had to do a still life of a pillowcase for my drawing class. To make up for bad grades I've gotten before, I followed my professor's directions to a T. He took 19 points off because I drew the background when no one else did. We have to do it for every piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2794

You deserved it

227

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By Anonymous - United States

Good catch

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21519

You deserved it

90642

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By Anonymous - Canada - Port Hardy

Hipster alert

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29426

You deserved it

3222

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By c - United States - Denham Springs

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29016

You deserved it

1749

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By pod - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39580

You deserved it

5389

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By LadyDeadpool88 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59840

You deserved it

7261

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By Username - United States

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44129

You deserved it

5947

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By Angelica Zoe - 13/6/2021 21:59

Know your equipment

Today, while playing a game of Cards Against Humanity, I had to explain to 3 grown men that there is NOT an actual bone in their dicks. It's mostly vascular tissue that swells and becomes rigid, and a broken dick is when they pop one of the two main vascular tubes, which can cause many severe problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

911

You deserved it

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By committedandalone

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend about where we want to live when I graduate. He says he doesn't know what he wants and his mother wouldn't approve of us living together. We've been together 3 years with the understanding we would live together once I graduated my Master's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9707

You deserved it

896

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By LevKin - Canada

Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He strongly believes in "first impressions." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44259

You deserved it

6716

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By Username - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54910

You deserved it

4788

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By stuck - Australia

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30219

You deserved it

2897

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By Noname - United States

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

88881

You deserved it

8288

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By Anonymous - 8/3/2021 08:01

Roommates from hell

Today, my brother and I were nearly made homeless by a good friend and roommate, because after repeatedly leading on my brother, and admitting she’s disrespected me all along, she and her boyfriend took off suddenly without a word of notice, leaving us to a house we can't afford alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

753

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By Anonymous - Brazil

Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

644

You deserved it

2021

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By Anonymous - United States

Whack

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26815

You deserved it

3397

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By sociallyawkward - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12615

You deserved it

3460

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By Anonymous - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31148

You deserved it

3075

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By hermit's life - United States - Sellersburg

Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8294

You deserved it

1338

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 14:01

Family man

Today, I always hated not having a boyfriend during holidays, my relatives would always ask me what was wrong with me. I'm married now and my husband always finds a way to skip holiday reunions. My relatives keep on asking me what's wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

884

You deserved it

155

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By boobs are for baby - United States - Hesperia

Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks

4890

You deserved it

1046

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By sleepy - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29130

You deserved it

5908

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By Anonymous - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40821

You deserved it

5971

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By whoops - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12527

You deserved it

6046

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Top comments

By MrRawwr84 | 0

#1995719 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:43

well stop complaining and lose weight if you dont like your weight... god its not like its impossible for you to hit the tredmil TAKE ACTION

By masterchief113 | 0

#1995684 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:29

ydi for being fat

COMMENTS

By NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#1995635 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:14

that sucks op =( sorry

PeteyPablo12308 | 20

#1995805 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:09

Oh dear.... I'm sorry OP

nathan5 | 0

#1995904 - Saturday 22 January 2011 14:08

Why are you all sorry? Did you make OP fat?

sux2beU | 0

#1997370 - Saturday 22 January 2011 22:27

Exactly! No sympathy for fatties.

talktomandybaby | 8

#1998244 - Sunday 23 January 2011 4:17

maybe they have an eating disorder?thats rude

SpRiTzSpLaSh | 7

#2000097 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:18

HAHA .

iMightBeYourDad | 4

#4205636 - Friday 23 March 2012 16:23

How the hell can you assholes say shit like its her fault for being fat? Since when was being large a bad thing? Bigger people are usually more attractive than skinny girls.

By alicianoar | 7

#1995643 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:15

shaaaaaaaame!

MizzouFan_fml | 2

#1995794 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:05

nice photo

iliketurdles | 7

#1995808 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:10

lolwut? tah iz dizguhstin
itz 2 icky

fuk u gramma nazis. bring it!!!!11one

brainstew0 | 0

#1996696 - Saturday 22 January 2011 18:52

should you really mention shame with that pic???

By Swedish81 | 0

#1995647 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:16

Then lose some weight and don't come here to moan about it. At the end of the day your the one stuffing your face.

alicianoar | 7

#1995656 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:19

Win. Your picture is also win.

Swedish81 | 0

#2000086 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:10

There daring shorts!

talktomandybaby | 8

#2000119 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:41

4- and your picture isnt a win(:

iceprice | 7

#3774742 - Friday 23 December 2011 7:24

What the hell do you think the FML app is and for???????

By davidjr_saldana | 0

#1995659 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:19

go on a twinkieless diet fatass

steeledwolf | 8

#1995708 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:37

agreed

By LadyClarik | 8

#1995660 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:20

How is this a FML? Either A) You are fat (which you were probably already aware of) or B) That particular app sucks. In which case who the fuck cares?