Miscellaneous: Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my...

By Peter C. - United States

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33153

You deserved it

10382

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Out of it

Trip Advisor says no

Get the message, dude

By please stop singing!!!! - United States - Windermere

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41242

You deserved it

4115

Favorite

By NotBeingPaidEnough - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat and threw up on my checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22293

You deserved it

1306

Favorite

By Barrel - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62535

You deserved it

9014

Favorite

By NotThePotty - United States - San Francisco

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24388

You deserved it

2973

Favorite

By Miller_Time - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73678

You deserved it

8673

Favorite

By mu5icadd1ct

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14534

You deserved it

885

Favorite

By nichaneely - United States

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28968

You deserved it

4663

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38834

You deserved it

4550

Favorite

By analeis - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17705

You deserved it

29288

Favorite

By BadassRumbleroar - Canada

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28482

You deserved it

3012

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29893

You deserved it

3545

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11177

You deserved it

23685

Favorite

By unbelievable

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend always says she's been at "Alex's house", she hasn't meant the house of her friend Alexis, but rather the house of the man she has been cheating on me with. She literally told me she was cheating on me and still managed to avoid getting caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7102

You deserved it

1453

Favorite

By an unlucky man - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22864

Phew, glad it wasn't me

3075

Favorite

By seriously - United States - Goshen

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28002

You deserved it

18457

Favorite

By Miss<Younger>Beyoncé - Namibia - Windhoek

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39733

You deserved it

3906

Favorite

By 88_OP - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33366

You deserved it

3940

Favorite

By cjay2200 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36087

You deserved it

9862

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46934

You deserved it

6467

Favorite

By yamaha_313 - United States - Wartburg

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25570

You deserved it

2197

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1542

You deserved it

213

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54666

You deserved it

4857

Favorite

By Cody - United States

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33671

You deserved it

8021

Favorite

By porn daddy

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5923

You deserved it

431

Favorite

By someone - Denmark

Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40059

You deserved it

3010

Favorite

By not ashamed! - 5/9/2020 07:57 - United States

Double standards

Today, I was told how irresponsible, dangerous and shameful it is to date as a single mom. Apparently, my one and only focus should be my children. I’ve had one boyfriend in the past two years. Meanwhile, my ex-husband has a new flavor of the month around our kids whenever he sees fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1565

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By yeshehaspornaddiction - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56801

You deserved it

13346

Favorite

By whinywiper - Canada

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23397

You deserved it

3790

Favorite

By Leenotgay - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35249

You deserved it

3633

Favorite

By Oh man... - Australia - Perth

Doggy Wants A Bone

Today, I began my ritual of my afternoon wank. As I was about to finish, I noticed my dog staring at me from across the room. We shared a longboard stare as I came, and I can't look him in the eyes the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2940

You deserved it

4871

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28531

You deserved it

2736

Favorite

By zAstonish - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22835

You deserved it

3961

Favorite

By riya

Today, I had the worst day of my life. I'd studied science for the whole damn night, only to realize the next morning that it's a math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2123

You deserved it

2958

Favorite

By Anonymous

Happy Feet

Today, an old lady rear ended my car the light. Her explanation was, "It's a new car, and when I take my foot off the break, it just rolls forward all on its own! I don't know what's wrong with it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1647

You deserved it

Favorite

By nevercatchabreak - United States - Burgettstown

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52003

You deserved it

4246

Favorite

By d.stack - United States

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55670

You deserved it

3967

Favorite

By Takegami

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2445

You deserved it

168

Favorite

By Rick - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17795

You deserved it

32812

Favorite

By Marc - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30834

You deserved it

2176

Favorite

By Anonymous

Make it easy on yourself

Today, I had depressive feelings, so I decided to write about it to find out what was bothering me, and let go of the negative thoughts. While doing so, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1474

You deserved it

187

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By MrRawwr84 | 0

#1995719 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:43

well stop complaining and lose weight if you dont like your weight... god its not like its impossible for you to hit the tredmil TAKE ACTION

By masterchief113 | 0

#1995684 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:29

ydi for being fat

COMMENTS

By NuyoRicanGirl | 3

#1995635 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:14

that sucks op =( sorry

PeteyPablo12308 | 20

#1995805 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:09

Oh dear.... I'm sorry OP

nathan5 | 0

#1995904 - Saturday 22 January 2011 14:08

Why are you all sorry? Did you make OP fat?

sux2beU | 0

#1997370 - Saturday 22 January 2011 22:27

Exactly! No sympathy for fatties.

talktomandybaby | 8

#1998244 - Sunday 23 January 2011 4:17

maybe they have an eating disorder?thats rude

SpRiTzSpLaSh | 7

#2000097 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:18

HAHA .

iMightBeYourDad | 4

#4205636 - Friday 23 March 2012 16:23

How the hell can you assholes say shit like its her fault for being fat? Since when was being large a bad thing? Bigger people are usually more attractive than skinny girls.

By alicianoar | 7

#1995643 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:15

shaaaaaaaame!

MizzouFan_fml | 2

#1995794 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:05

nice photo

iliketurdles | 7

#1995808 - Saturday 22 January 2011 13:10

lolwut? tah iz dizguhstin
itz 2 icky

fuk u gramma nazis. bring it!!!!11one

brainstew0 | 0

#1996696 - Saturday 22 January 2011 18:52

should you really mention shame with that pic???

By Swedish81 | 0

#1995647 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:16

Then lose some weight and don't come here to moan about it. At the end of the day your the one stuffing your face.

alicianoar | 7

#1995656 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:19

Win. Your picture is also win.

Swedish81 | 0

#2000086 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:10

There daring shorts!

talktomandybaby | 8

#2000119 - Sunday 23 January 2011 18:41

4- and your picture isnt a win(:

iceprice | 7

#3774742 - Friday 23 December 2011 7:24

What the hell do you think the FML app is and for???????

By davidjr_saldana | 0

#1995659 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:19

go on a twinkieless diet fatass

steeledwolf | 8

#1995708 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:37

agreed

By LadyClarik | 8

#1995660 - Saturday 22 January 2011 12:20

How is this a FML? Either A) You are fat (which you were probably already aware of) or B) That particular app sucks. In which case who the fuck cares?