Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
We're men. We don't waste food.
lolmigosh 15
Talk about a yummy burger!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (304)
leilaostara 1
Well, at least he knew you were going to have sex for long enough for his burger to get cold. ;)
Hookahlover16 2
you must have a death wish getting between a man and meat!
Calyx_fml 22
If he had taken out his **** while you were eating would you have immediately start sucking it? Prolly not. YDI
downtime 13
Exactly. This behaviour is not acceptable from a man, how is it any different from a woman. YDI.
RedPillSucks 33
Introduce him to the microwave, then slap him in the face with the insides of your thighs.
PiErC3 0
once you microwave something it kinda looses its taste (in my opinion)
Ins_Knie 2
It's a recession all right...
Fisahgurl 1
Lol he's sucha guy.. But food is important :o
CaptainPickles72 18
Mix the 2... burger *******! It shall be done. Yes, it shall be done!!
murdersquirrel 15
Come on, learn good timing. If he was eating, why would you expect him to just drop everything and do you? Why are you offended that he wanted to take 10 minutes to eat his food? Sounds selfish and immature to me.
ThisIsSpicy 2
Never get between a man and his burger!!!!!!
IrishJesus 5
Remember this next time you make an excuse to not have sex.