Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
We're men. We don't waste food.
lolmigosh 15
Talk about a yummy burger!
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Comments (304)
markrs 0
BURGER! BURGER! BURGER!
nickyjp 17
There had better be bacon on that burger
linkinpark98 24
Or God help them all....
Nick_1993 2
And egg, and another patty, and more cheese, and take off all that vegan crap, and more bacon. And top it off with fry sauce. (look it up, Utah food)
year2015 11
#282 and DIET coke.
keyboo 0
It was just a really good burger don't take it personally :)
BoiWonder 5
ELISE YOU FORGOT TO MENTION IT WAS A DEEP FRIED BURGER.
Monkeybuttcream 4
Sorry OP, Cheese burger before muff burger-that's just how it is.
Johnny6speed 0
Somebody needs bigger breastacles
TheFirstSamurai 18
Is that a mixture of breasts and testicles? Because I think that would actually succeed in putting him off his food.
RedPillSucks 33
Some one's been visiting too many she-males.
CaptainPickles72 18
#22- the correct term is chesticles. #61- Wait a minute... is there something wrong with she-males? I mean... I'm not asking for myself... I'm asking for a friend... yeah, a friend.... DON"T JUDGE ME!!
Pentium_4 27
i was expecting to see a fatty dip in your picture haha
jonriise18 3
I was gonna say.... Is there such a thing as too many she-males!?
surfnshred 2
makes sense of it was in n out
wisese 0
This isn't an fml AT ALL. First of all, who the hell gets frisky while eating? That's kind of gross. If he hadn't finished the burger, what were you going to do with it? Set it aside and let his greasy fingers and mouth fondle your breasts? Ew. Additionally, he wanted to fool around too. He didn't choose the burger over you, he just used common sense and finished what he was doing before moving on to you.
sourgirl101 29
Did he at least eat his burger in record time? Cold food doesn't taste as good. (:
Schizomaniac 24
I agree; hot food is much better. Q? *looks innocent* *tears of joy*
sourgirl101 29
Hello, Schitzo! Glad to see you're commenting on FML once again! (:
japtap81 16
either u wait til hes done or start sucking him til hes done. win win situation
RC_lovers022211 0
Win Win x 1,000,000,000,000