Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
We're men. We don't waste food.
lolmigosh 15
Talk about a yummy burger!
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Comments (304)
Fmlsea 28
so the food comes first this time , you can do something about it later or if ur that much of a mood finish ur self off that might make him motivated lol
sorrowevicteon 9
Personally, if my face has food in it, I'm not thinking sexy time. Then again, my girl can't do anything but say, "Ugh, I ate ten minutes ago, carry me to the bathroom," if there has been a meal involved in the past hour, so there isn't much risk in that.
redmonkey224539 9
I'm sick of all these girls getting upset because their boyfriends wouldn't have sex with them one time, imagine if they had have been Siting their and he had have randomly taken his pants and said 'suck' then it would be. Today, me and my boyfriend were watching a movie And eating a burger when he took of his pants and demanded I had sex with him like some sex slave. FML. There is such a double standard between men and women and it's so hypercritical.
laden_swallow09 35
Gah! *sitting there *movie and eating *took off *hypocrite.
jerryxiao 0
Smart guy the boobs will be good for another few years at least the burger won't
Mkooz56 0
I love boobs, but food sorry
JRokka850 6
I agree with 2
vonmatterhorn 3
Man needs energy. Dont be hating.
arrowtopatella 11
He could do a George Constanza and finish his burger while doing a deed, which in this case is you. If I had a boyfriend like this I'd laugh a lot. I never meet guys that are like this.
jjesuslover 0
I love u
SF49ERS 0
Get out the way woman! I'm eating! You should invest in some implants..hahahaha