Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge."...

By purged - 08/06/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 8 644

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 7 811

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 2 621

Cancelled

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said, "I would hate it if that happened to me, obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 358

You deserved it 8 818

By kel - 08/11/2013 23:50 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 7 472

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 3 562

By Abendigo77 - 14/01/2013 04:49 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 6 840

By Anonymous - 07/09/2016 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 434

You deserved it 2 109

Foreshadowing

By Confused - 31/07/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 250

By fmmmmlll - 12/06/2012 05:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 197

You deserved it 2 448

By bojangles - 28/02/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 270

You deserved it 47 966

Rawr6591 21

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:03

That's a red flag

angelofsaturn 23

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:05

I'd sleep with a machete from now on.

Comments

SynysterNero 20

Sunday 9 June 2013 16:55

Time for a new boyfriend.

NudeSuitSquad 7

Sunday 9 June 2013 17:20

Dont worry now that yoiu know you can plan and get to him first.

Smoxxii 17

Sunday 9 June 2013 17:21

Run.

Jump524 1

Sunday 9 June 2013 17:36

You should have gotten her a glass of hot water then.

sonnyrosa 32

Sunday 9 June 2013 18:48

I can't really speak for anyone else, but... I think that might be a deal breaker

emmingle 24

Sunday 9 June 2013 18:50

Such a ******* awesome movie.

WaBrewer 11

Sunday 9 June 2013 19:09

An important part of a relationship is to be friends. Friends also know so much about each other that they hate each other to an extent. Ipso facto, he really loves you to crack that kind of joke. I hope...

amyd515 3

Sunday 9 June 2013 19:21

RUN!!!!!

heyitsamu 2

Sunday 9 June 2013 19:34

KatjaM 15

Sunday 9 June 2013 19:50

I say that all the time to my husband, but I don't really mean it. Maybe it's because we both have a morbid sense of humor? I'm sure he was only kidding though. Just tell him to be sure not to sleep ever again, or you'll kill him in his sleep.