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Wow. That's the thing about overly-protective moms. She needs to learn that she's grown up, and to let her make her own decisions. Hope everything works out for you guys!

I would have to ask, how long have you known her? I knew a girl who showed up to the door of my friend's house after a week of dating, with packed luggage and even her cat in arms....man that's awkward.

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In laws are the worst...Always...

my in laws are pretty amazing actually

In-laws are always going to be the worst if you're a world class rager #1.... Are some in-laws unjustifiably horrible? Yeah. But many of them are respectful of you if you're respectful of them. After all, they DO want to be in the lives of their grandbabies.

My in-laws are pretty awesome. Couldn't have married into a better family.

An in-law is related through marriage. OP's girlfriends mom isnt an in-law

Your parents will be inlaws too... eventually...

Wow. That's the thing about overly-protective moms. She needs to learn that she's grown up, and to let her make her own decisions. Hope everything works out for you guys!

I don't understand why you would feel the need to ask permission to live your life as an adult at that age...

I accidentally thumbed up, it says 'tell' her mom not ask. I dont care where u live, dorm, room mates, moms, dads, grandparents, when u decide to move out the proper thing to do is tell the person first!!

She (your girlfriend) can do as she pleases (hopefully her mother doesn't pay for school and or bills). But she gotta start somewhere

If her mother does indeed providing the funds for school and shelter, then I'm afraid OPs gf is at a lost cause, unless she truly wants to risk leaving that financial stability. if she works and provides for herself, then I'd say she has every right. of course, this situation is more than just finances because her mom acted like a complete demon, but worst case scenario is OPs gf runs off out of spite, only to come back to her mother if anything awry happens and her mother having OPs gf never live it down.

I understand her worry but some parents just go too far sometimes. Do what makes y'all happy. Good luck!

I would have to ask, how long have you known her? I knew a girl who showed up to the door of my friend's house after a week of dating, with packed luggage and even her cat in arms....man that's awkward.

Does a short relationship really justifies the mom's behaviour? OP is an adult by law. Even if she knows her boyfriend for a friggin' week (which I sincerely doubt, hence the 'finally' in the FML), she still has every bloody right to move in with him without her mom trying to intimidate her.

I don't know if she's an adult "by law" in every respect. Even after the age of 18, if you still live with your parents and don't pay rent, you are not "emancipated" until you either pay rent or move out. Until then, everything you own is your parents', and they can ground you and confiscate your belongings, and there's nothing you can do about it. At least that's how it is in NJ. I don't think they can stop you from moving out after the age of 18, though, so if I were OP's girlfriend I'd get the hell out of my Mom's house. Hell, in real life I joined the friggin'military just so I could move out of my parent's house.

I'm pretty sure they can't ground you or confiscate anything with your name on the legal ownership and no debits to them on it but they can however withhold finacial aid or evict you

Nope, it's true. I learned it in an American Legal System class. And when my brother locked all his video games (which he'd paid for) in a trunk and called the cops on my dad for trying to confiscate them, the cops offered to get the video games out of the trunk for my dad.

I wonder how long the OP and his girlfriend have been together? Anyway, ignore her mother - it's not her decision.

some mothers need time to accept that their children have grown up. hopefully she'll get used to the idea that her daughter is moving in with you soon.

I would hardly say 21 is grown up. Unless you're actually paying for everything on your own (school, car, phone, apartment, etc.), you still don't know what grown up is. Hell, I'm married and almost 25, even though I help pay bills now with my husband I'm just now beginning to know what 'grown up' consists of.

I'm 22, almost 23. I know what "grown up" is. She's not too young. I've been married for 5 years this fall. My husband and I have been paying our own bills since we got married. We have 2 children, one that will turn 4 this November and one that is 7 months.

I think being 'grown up' at any age depends on the person themselves. I moved out at 16, I had two jobs and finished high school by distance learning. At 18 I met the man I married. Today we have 4 beautiful children, a $400,000 house, 3 vehicles and much much more. We worked our asses off to get here. Im lucky enough to be a sahm now. Im 26, grown up enough for ya?

Way to go! I agree! While at 30 some may not be grown up, others at 18 are...

50- Yes. My mother is 44, and has not grown up yet. I took care of both my sisters since I was 10, all the housekeeping and cooking from 11, and while I wasn't working, I was managing all the bills from 14. At 18 I married my childhood sweetheart. I've never held a "real job", but I am much more responsible than my 44 year old mother.

Yeah, while all of you are awesome, many kids, married, expensive homes and total independence by your mid 20's is not at all a common lifestyle. While you all did well, smiliecat has a point. I'm in my mid 20's too and run a household but people our age are -mostly- overeducated collegiates about to start or finish some degree, up to their necks in student loan debt, and are just starting a carreer IF they are lucky enough. All those assets and settlement usually comes in themid to late 30's.

"Overeducated?" Is there such a thing?

Over-educated? Is there such a thing? And I would certainly not say most. If one is a college graduate starting a real degree (not jerk off 101) then Id consider them a responsible adult. I dont care about the shit one has, the point I was making is that some are 'grown up' at 18, some are 'grown up' at 50!!

Well, if you two are truly ready for that commitment, then she may eventually come around. Just give her some time to accept it.

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Yes, because a dick response like that would totally affirm that you are an adult and able to assume adult responsibilities.

I guess she doesn't want to accept that her 'little girl' has grown up.