Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
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Top comments
rhyannon11 7
Why were you using soap? That's not how it's done
MzMegs 20
So did you not use a condom or what? Douching isn't good for your ******. It cleans itself naturally.
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Comments (52)
lonelyman36 12
Awww, you didn't know, now you do.
GetGulley 12
the situation sucks now, but I bet later on you'll think back on this and laugh :)
jackiemora 18
How romantic! Lol
arsenicalhumor 30
Use non-scented soap whenever your boyfriend is over, or just switch soaps altogether. I don't see how this involves your v-card besides the fact that it was the same day, so try not to stress too much over it- he's the one with the reaction anyways :s. Hopefully the rest of your day was good!!
Fluffydemise 18
V card? Is this some hilariously hip lingo for ones virginity? Wow.
Blackcatluck 19
Get off the Internet grandpa!!
doodlecloud 27
Argh....can't tell if serious or sarcastic....and that's never good - it means you either suck at sarcasm or just suck in general.
Synistiel 14
No. It means Visa card. Everyone knows this.
luststarrr 22
^this
billyz77 24
41, you've never asked a question? Why so much anger for someone who'd never heard a particular expression before? Give people a break and maybe you'll receive some of your own.
Fluffydemise 18
Yes, the word was new to me. Although obvious what it meant. I'm guessing those of you that use this phrase are 11-19 at best? Because it is the most ridiculous phrase for someones virginity I have ever seen. Seriously.
Marblecakelolz 11
You shouldn't be using such harsh soap inside, though. That part of your body is self cleansing... Just worry about the outer parts.
lysx84 24
The op doesn't say the reaction was only on her partner's penis, or even on it at all. The rash may just be on his body from skin to skin contact.
EpicBlondie89 19
#30 Summer's eve is feminine wash here in the US. Not body wash.
luststarrr 22
It's the same in Australia.
liss0711 10
It is a soap to wash your external genital area, supposedly specially formulated to not interfere with your natural ph levels. If your skin is sensitive or you are prone to yeast infections it is supposed to help with that. They also make douche.
Llamacod 11
Perhaps you guys should do some research before you spout your "wisdom", summer's eve isn't just a vaginal cleanser anymore. They also make a shower/body wash.
morella_xx 29
Stop douching. That stuff is terrible for you. Your ****** does not need to be splashed with chemicals to be "clean," it takes care of that itself, like it did for the thousands of years before some jerkwad advertiser decided to tell ladies they had to buy douches lest they be considered dirty.
lysx84 24
Why do you think she was douching? The rash could just be from skin to skin contact, ie. on his chest not his knob.
morella_xx 29
I know because she specifically calls it Summer's Eve soap, which is the brand name of a "feminine wash" over here in the US.
doodlecloud 27
Thanks 32 - as someone from the UK I just assumed it was normal soap, this makes a lot more sense now. Ouch.
Llamacod 11
#32 you don't "know" because it wasn't explicitly said. What you are doing is called "assuming". Summer's eve has a line of cleansing products ranging from douche to genital cleanser to shower/body wash. Just remember when you assume all you do is make an ASS out of U and...
morella_xx 29
Actually what I did was make an INFERENCE, which is different. Do you need me to explain it condescendingly for you? Would that be helpful for you to understand?
sikunt89_fml 16
How do you know it was the soap is what I'm wondering...
karlcolt45 19
oh baby I'm just itching to get you in bed! and now I'm itching to kick you out of it!
graphicstyle7 17
Typical virgin, expecting perfection... Look, hopefully you will have many other times, this will be something to look back on and laugh. Sex without experience usually isn't that great anyway, it takes a few times to loosten up. No biggie.
Fluffydemise 18
Professor of sex right here ^^