Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
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Top comments
rhyannon11 7
Why were you using soap? That's not how it's done
MzMegs 20
So did you not use a condom or what? Douching isn't good for your ******. It cleans itself naturally.
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Comments (52)
gymnastlove 4
Well, there is your lesson on the birds and the bees!
CanadianCutie22 16
spice it up next time girl !
shorty26 3
well now your a horse!
RandomFucker 1
I think I have the same condition...every time someone says, "Swag," I get this terrible rash...
my_name_is_earl 9
HAIL TO THE V!!
samimcCune 15
shitty luck on the break out, least it didn't result in a break up. communication could have prevented this i believe. but also in my Opinion, just an opinion here...anyone still calling it there "v-card" is probably to young to be loosing it in the first place. and if there not to young, there to immature, for saying that, let alone loosing there virginity.
mynameisnoone 2
#95 okay calling the people who call it a "v card" immature, when you dont know the ******* difference between there and they're
DrSo 15
Holy hell people. Firstly, feminine wash is not the same as douching. Secondly, feminine wash is a type of soap with much gentler detergents than normal body wash. Thirdly, it is used to clean the EXTERNAL genitalia, though it can be used anywhere on the body EXCEPT internally (that is douching). Hopefully that clears things up.
honestyslife 9
This is why he should have signed the waver.
deadhead419 15
At least he's not allergic to blood.
DoughtyPine 1
That's an awesome memory for your first time, congrats