Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
Today, I realised I’m allergic to sperm. I was a virgin until recently and my vagina always seemed to itch for days after sex, and I thought that might be normal, but then today I agreed to let my boyfriend facial me and within minutes I had a massive rash everywhere it touched my skin. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML
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Top comments
leaannec30 18
This reminds me of the time my ex was pealing hot ghost peppers and we got frisky in the kitchen and he fingered me without washing his hands. Talk about flaming pussy. And blisters I feel your pain
MidnaLink 35
If you can find it, I recommend Penaten for the rash. It helped when I had a bad one on both pits, just use a good amount at a time. I'd see a doctor for the sores, though.
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Comments (26)
MidnaLink 35
If you can find it, I recommend Penaten for the rash. It helped when I had a bad one on both pits, just use a good amount at a time. I'd see a doctor for the sores, though.
zezili 18
Yeah don't go sticking any topical creams up your ****** without talking to a doctor! It's a delicate ecosystem in there; you might end up with an infection on top of your rash/sores!
MidnaLink 35
I never said stick the cream up her ******. Penaten is for the rash on her outside skin. Worked like a charm and within a week, I could finally wear deodorant.
wanted_2_want 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It used to be called herpes back in the day. Sorry OP
BrotherPhil 35
Pretty sure that a dose takes longer than overnight to show up - let alone get that bad.
leaannec30 18
This reminds me of the time my ex was pealing hot ghost peppers and we got frisky in the kitchen and he fingered me without washing his hands. Talk about flaming pussy. And blisters I feel your pain
dexter420 21
Look for bordaux butt rub in the infant section. Real name. Dr told me to get that for a rash on my inner thigh. Its about 6$
thatslifeiguess7 16
plain yogurt put on your ****** And Get in tub wait half hour rinse
Chris_1163187222 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Meh i call bs
Arashikage 18
Yes because allergic reactions never happened to anyone on earth
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Welp at least you had fun last night
davecross 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what happens when you don't wait until marriage to have sex.
vandj8 9
Yes....because being married makes you magically impervious to allergic reactions.
Chris_1163187222 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Again bullshit a reaction that severe would have landed you in hospital, and you Mod cowards quit the bullshit emails you *****
Steph Da Blix 1
I don't see anywhere in this FML anything related to the hospital. For all you know, she's typed this in a hospital bed.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Doesn't matter, had sex?