Transportation: Today, my friend and I were walking down my neighborhood when...

By StolenCarz - United States - Asheville

Today, my friend and I were walking down my neighborhood when he joked that my car was being stolen when one that looked exactly like it passed. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22799

You deserved it

1497

Favorite

StolenCarz tells us more :

Was able to get it recovered, the perpetrator is now in jail :) thanks everyone

Transportation

Leave us alone

Walk the line

"Based on your purchase history…"

By Anonymous - United States - Show Low

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24057

You deserved it

2256

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51049

You deserved it

8300

Favorite

By Ashley

Fire…?

Today, two out of our three smoke detectors were going off. My grandpa won't call the fire department because he thinks our house will be condemned. The alarms are still going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1444

You deserved it

148

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26002

You deserved it

4440

Favorite

By Anonymous - Mongolia

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36410

You deserved it

3691

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, after 2 years of paying off the insurance fees after an accident, I got rear-ended. It was the same driver who crashed into me the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2373

You deserved it

121

Favorite

By Failoffel - United States

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34595

You deserved it

52528

Favorite

By daughter in law - United States

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14550

You deserved it

1420

Favorite

By desertpunk75 - United States

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25772

You deserved it

3156

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/4/2021 17:00 - United States - Elmwood Park

Thanks for the support

Today, I told my dad I’m applying for a big pageant and I’ll find out tomorrow if I’m chosen to compete. I told him that there's a registration fee and a sponsorship fee. I then said that I might not be picked, but he assured me that I would… because they want the money from the fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

642

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By Ethan - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

28076

You deserved it

94931

Favorite

By automotive glass tech - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24579

You deserved it

1225

Favorite

By nofriends - United States

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47193

You deserved it

5259

Favorite

By bummer.. - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36441

You deserved it

5736

Favorite

By scared and alone - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39314

You deserved it

2900

Favorite

By gracelynn980765

Today, it was the third time in a row someone has lost a boner inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2410

You deserved it

584

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8299

You deserved it

30229

Favorite

By CurseYouSonyaLee - United States - Midlothian

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40167

You deserved it

5525

Favorite

By flea-bitten - United States

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48239

You deserved it

4415

Favorite

By DestinyJoy

Today, at Starbucks, I complimented the awkward nerdy barista's name tag because of the funny Sonic decorations on it. The dude took it as me flirting and gave me my drink with Sonic drawn on it. I had applied to work there and now I can't go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5285

You deserved it

1862

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14401

You deserved it

37068

Favorite

By unwantedlove - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41025

You deserved it

6883

Favorite

By thereisnobaby - United States - Cadillac

Today, I was met with an unfortunate clerical error, receiving a letter from WIC with a cheery handwritten note instructing me to call when the baby arrives. I guess they forgot I was there four months ago to discuss the changes in benefits after a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12089

You deserved it

755

Favorite

By Cat - United Kingdom

Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35083

You deserved it

4192

Favorite

By friendlessatwork - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27639

You deserved it

3686

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Auburn

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31152

You deserved it

3462

Favorite

By ForgottenSarahMarshall - United States - Aubrey

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39227

You deserved it

5610

Favorite

By fatface - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58044

You deserved it

3755

Favorite

By AAA guy - United States

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31248

You deserved it

5534

Favorite

By Sam - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11250

You deserved it

34919

Favorite

By tabbycacti - Australia

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23869

You deserved it

1772

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56930

You deserved it

3524

Favorite

By LittleArtist - United States - Bessemer

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40249

You deserved it

5274

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/6/2021 00:01

Smart guy

Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1384

You deserved it

229

Favorite

By tinygirl

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54215

You deserved it

11168

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24850

You deserved it

5958

Favorite

By hispanicsmyass - 26/10/2020 16:59 - United States - Cleveland

Dad of the year

Today, my ex thinks he's such a good parent that he is arguing about making up parenting time. Yet our court agreement says he's to be responsible for doctor's appointments, carry health insurance for our child, and life insurance. Plus pay child support. None of which he has followed through on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1049

You deserved it

131

Favorite

By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41677

You deserved it

3812

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/4/2021 02:00

Rationalization

Today, I'm getting divorced because I found out that my husband of 17 years cheated on me when I was pregnant, all 3 times. He also had a year-long relationship with another woman, but, "it doesn't count because she knew I wasn't going to leave you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1183

You deserved it

Favorite

By brokenrainbow. - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26135

You deserved it

5133

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ndnpride88 | 25

#6555624 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:30

Hopefully you got a good look at the driver

By tehman117 | 21

#6555619 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:28

At least you have all the information so the police can find it? Sorry dude. FYL

COMMENTS

By tehman117 | 21

#6555619 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:28

At least you have all the information so the police can find it? Sorry dude. FYL

By FragrantSalmon | 12

#6555620 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:28

RIPerooni my careless friend

SpyroMello | 29

#6555806 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 22:14

In this case, Batman, you are not helpful.

By secretmisery05 | 25

#6555621 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:28

Did you see the perpetrator?

By ndnpride88 | 25

#6555624 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:30

Hopefully you got a good look at the driver

By Steve97 | 32

#6555627 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:32

Honda Civic Owner's problems.

By NightOWL666 | 14

#6555630 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:34

Well, at least your friend warned you. Still sucks OP. Hopefully you reported it stolen before posting here.

By CODplayer4lyfe | 24

#6555633 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

CODplayer4lyfe | 24

#6555755 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 20:53

I'm not sure what I was thinking, I thought the people who stole it had parked it and OP walked past it parked. Oops, I guess I can't read today

By Estelle101_fml | 13

#6555638 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:38

So where's your keys?

By coltmerriman | 15

#6555641 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:39

File a report ASAP!!!

By mswim | 27

#6555643 - Wednesday 9 March 2016 19:40

Damn. File a police report, thankfully you have all the information. But that really sucks. I hope they find your car soon!