By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup

Spicy
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 89 990
You deserved it 27 752
Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Comments

barefootchic 6

Your daughter doesn't seem to have much respect for your. I'd suggest the biggest punishment of her life would teach her some. Although in this day and age, there's no "too young" for sex. All ages do it, and even most legal adults aren't ready to deal with the possibility of a baby. Consequences.

24 8
TML329 14

Wow at 14 I was more worried about getting to the next level in video games

1 0
Lilithslabyrinth 0

U need to beat her little ass and make her scrub floors, then take her to a hospital and u can ask for a special tour that basically lets your children see an actuall birth, then beat her little ass some more, then embarise her by following her around school all day for two weeks! Schools allow that

109 23
mystashisgone 6

That or instead of calling her by her name replace it with little *****. Not forever but, at least until she figures out that meeting a man with a large penis isn't always the way to go.

1 1
DocBastard 38

If I ever catch my daughter pulling this kind of shit, I'd lock her in her room for a year. Fortunately I'm raising her to respect her parents AND herself, so the chance of that actually happening is about the same as that of a fat man in a red suit shimmying down my chimney tonight.

124 12
TheDrifter 23

So you're saying you need a bigger chimney? Or just a slimmer Santa?

8 3
ScotsLassie 6

44 - doc this is probably the first time that I have not agreed with you. My parents taught me to respect them and myself. My mum also wanted me to be informed and so taught me about sex and possible consequences, an the dangers of drugs and alcohol from an early age. However, I started doing all of this at the age of 14. It was my choice and yes it messed me up a bit at the time but I got over it and I think that my experiences have helped me to be a well informed and balanced adult. We all make choices that we will look back on and see them as mistakes but at the time we make them for the best of reasons, even if these reasons don't make sense to anyone else. Your daughter could do this. My parents barely have a clue what I got up to.

4 2
ICastillo 24

Well ground her ass for sneaking out and having sex with a guy with a little penis. Well it's not her fault the guy had a little penis but still punish her.

45 5
Donovan_757 8

Look who's daughter just started the road down being a promiscuous teenage girl!

28 3
klovemachine 24

The song by Nelly Furtado and timbaland just came to mind :D

2 6
HortonThelephant 15

I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! Nope.. nothing yet. Is Thomas 100% that he has fully entered the tunnel?

23 6
SamanthaCassieL 10

wow. I can't believe your daughter can get away with this kind of thing. where are you? if I tried to do that at even 16, my parents would have my head on a steak. you need to talk some sense into your child, become a parent, and discipline and educate her. its sad when this thing happens at a young age, it is the child's fault yes, but the parent is also to blame because of lack of education and discipline. if its a mental health issue, she needs help. and its your responsibility to get her that. on a lighter note, merry Christmas, happy kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate. hope you all have a safe(r) holiday season. good luck with her in the new year.

63 12
ALyte 15

Imaging your parents having your head on a steak is hilarious. Were it on a stake it would not be so funny. I do agree with your sentiment, though. :) Happy holidays!!

24 1
Onmyzephyr 5

Ha! Makes sense now, I was trying to figure out what that meant.

1 5
dbt88 15

I'm going to guess she is in Denmark. Just a guess though.

2 11
olpally 32

You let this happen, you deserve it and fyl for having such a disrespectful daughter... Better discipline her good or she'll keep walking all over you like this. Such a terrible fml. Good luck op, time to start being a better parent.

11 5