Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
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Top comments
Olovio 5
Atleast yoy didn't get a bloody handjob!
Buttsexpirate 9
I guess when you said that you wanted to be the bees knees, they took it the wrong way
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Comments (114)
10oclockSteve 5
Oh... I feel bad for you I tap and it's amazing so go buy your own ****** shoes! And happy birthday :)
PYROxSYCO3 7
You just should of damn well said it
SociopathicSmurf 6
THERE. ARE. SO . MANY. THINGS. WRONG. WITH. THAT. STATMENT.
kimbolyn 0
well its better then what my husband got me for my bday that just passed.. he woke me up asked me to make him coffee and what HE wanted for dinner .. his mom told him it was my bday and he had our roommate buy me a cake and planned on surprising but he didn't cause I was being pissy lol yea b thankful u got a boyfriend thats not a Dick... so fml lol
SlickWillyTFCF 5
The beekeepers suit sounds awesome.
sparxva 12
Ask for the receipt. Return the lousy gifts. Buy tap shoes.. If you can't get the receipts, then eBay. No drama.
dropkik19 2
why would a guy want dance lessons
hillbilly22 0
Halloween plus complimenting dice great combo
stevenmx86 8
Maybe instead of wasting money on a worthless hobby like tap dancing you should work on improving your "wreck of a car".
Chris93Jones 20
Birthday gifts are usually things you wouldn't buy in a million years. Do you have the program already? Like do you need the tap dancing shoes?