Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
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Top comments
Olovio 5
Atleast yoy didn't get a bloody handjob!
Buttsexpirate 9
I guess when you said that you wanted to be the bees knees, they took it the wrong way
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Comments (114)
structuredchaoz 4
I've learned to not expect anything from anyone anymore. If you want it. Go sell your bee suit and get what you want. People don't get it.
nite66 21
At first I read lap-dance and had to re-read it again for the FML to make sense LOL. Anyway, FYL OP lol
ljr1094 7
it's fuzzy dice not furry
AgentSmith79 9
Tap dancing is flamingly fabulous.
blair_x 12
Tap dancing is beast. Don't knock it till you've tried it - it's much harder than you'd think it'd be to keep up with all the fast footwork. I agree with the others, OP. Sell your outfit for some tap dancing shoes.
omgful 0
I tap dance :) it's really fun kinda hard to just pick up
HomeAl0ne 20
Soon you really will be that guy who has everything.
Hunts160 5
tap dancing is gay anyway. get pop & lock lessons.
CoryX 9
OP if you don't want the fuzzy dice I'll easily take them off your hands
bigtuna29 0
Yeah right! Bullshit post!!! Who the **** gets a beekeeper outfit let alone think of buying one for some who expresses no interest in it. You're with a tool or you are the tool! Either way....you deserved it!!!!