Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
memes_for_life 3
*slowly claps* well that escalated quickly
the_boyo_cgw 10
lmfao jesus that's hilarious
buckstop1 37
LMAO!
SuperAwesomeMane 10
Damn, that'd make me go harder lol
Alikgentry 8
That's actually hilarious.
KittyHawkMarch 29
Can't blame you, that's not sexy at all.
moot_chan 18
That reminds me of a Dane Cook standup routine where he says his D feels like corn and then the girl asks for his butter. I guess sometimes you just go with it.
gratunka 11
that's hysterical. what a sense of humor she has!
EliGolsdworthy 7
Either way that's amusing lol
jaydoo 6
Boy I'd fill her up so full it'd be gushing down her legs.