By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 105
You deserved it 57 468

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Top comments

chinosurferchick 5

Maybe your boss will give you a raise

perdix 29

If he tipped over the rack with his boner, you may want to trade in your boyfriend and move up to doing middle management.


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chris71sk8r 8

So the earthquake dropped the clothes rack?

HowAreYouToday 34

Your mom has a boner!

StopDropNRoll 11

Idk about you guys but that was some dam good imagery she used. I think that's what it is at least?

HowAreYouToday 34

I'm not American. Did you not even bother to look at my location?

xoconnie 8

hahh, well is he hot?

At least you know his weakness

leilei614 11

...seriously! YDI for having phone sex while @ work. Although it is creepy that your boss was listening in and enjoying it...

Blackmail your boss op

I don't really find this hard to masturbate to.

eminemchick 19

*sees boner* "uh.. Uh I'll call you back babe" "WHAT THE FUCK" "Oh wow,. I.." "YOU'RE FIRED" "fuck."

I shulda been born and raised in Canada...your cute Canadianbabe420

95- Somehow, I doubt firing the OP ever crossed her bosses mind . . .

eminemchick 19

106- read op's username.

SolarGirl32 6

Actually, 106, judging by the username, it is entirely possible OP got fired. Either that or quit.

I'm not going to thumb this comment because it has 69 thumbs up ;)

buckeye08 10

Sorry, I'll hide better last time.

buckeye08 10

NEXT. Darn it. lol Fail.

TylerOMFG 7

#24 Wow, very pretty :) and that sucks for the op but you shoulda known he was a sneaky boy, he was just happy to see you talk in those ways XD

TylerOMFG 7

#52 Veryy pretty :) and FYL Op, that does suck for you :(

zendaddy0 0

I think it's like in some cartoons when the persons cover (the object they're hiding behind) falls at the exact moment they don't want it to

Nah, must of been the Libyan rebels firing off their weapons.

talkstoomuch 8

What do you mean?

he must of had a hard day of work!

did he give you a "hard" time!

paigeylovesyou 0


GuessWhatKids 13

Am I the only one who first thought OP had her boyfriend come into the store and physically have sex with her?


What's your YouTube account name?

110- Touché . . .

The sad part is, judging from OP's name she lost her job :(

Stonedmanalex 0

lol anyone noticed how 42 fucked up and changed the subject


hey baby ;)

ireallylikewomen 0

you shouldve known saying that would get you 60 thumbs downs

Let him listen again. I smell promotion!

no your retarded

I swear I totally had this boner before you started moaning.

flufflybuttons 4


Sike! That's the wrong number!

chinosurferchick 5

Maybe your boss will give you a raise

He gave himself a raise

KiddNYC1O 20

Sorry to jump in but I think he fired her or she quit. Hence, her username. So, yeah #10 is right.

StopDropNRoll 11

Am I the only one who notices OP's name is MissCan'tKeepAJob? Pretty sure she got fires so yea he's right ^

Therefore you are not the only one.

sounds like he already showed her a "raise"

It sounds like she gave him the raise

KiddNYC1O 20

Make up your mind. ^

leilei614 11

#34 - are we the only one's not surprised that the OP can't keep a job with antics like these?

She's right... Seeing as how u gave him 1... :3

TheColorOfAir 3


186 Love the picture :)

cubancgar 0

I think the boss got the raise

40 is an indecisive transformer.

kiefenator 0

It looks like *puts on sunglasses* You gave Him a raise! yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh!

perdix 29

If he tipped over the rack with his boner, you may want to trade in your boyfriend and move up to doing middle management.

crazychick1269 7

haha classy comment

lorenzoman77 7

I wish my girlfriend would feel frisky when I call her :( well at least when I get one. Double :(

Love how the first three comments (#1, 3, and 4) each have successively higher numbers of thumbs up. As of right now, 193, 231, and 304.

Get a boner! LIKE A BOSS!!!

ladies and gentleman. perdix is back!

JayJaysGirl 0


That's professional.

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

Why? You shouldn't even have you're phone out at work, it shows your boss how unprofessional you are

talktomandybaby 8

Her boss obviously doesnt think it's unprofessional if he has a boner. He would of said something to her if he thought it was unprofessional, but apparently not?

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

Not that, it's unprofessional that she is making phone calls during work

Perhaps she used the work phone to call her boyfriend? Don't call someone dumb if you haven't thought of all the possibilities. Yes, everyone has a cell nowadays, but most workplaces have a phone, and a lot of people are smart enough to use that for a phone call rather than using their cell.

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

29- I never called someone dumb..

Because having phone sex with your boyfriend on the company line is so much better?

kahnforyourmom 2

I'm pretty sure it's still unprofessional to have phone sex using a work phone...unless of course your job is on a sex hotline.

I never said it was professional to have phone sex anywhere at work. What I did say was that people aren't usually stupid enough to do that on their cell phones... they can easily be seen by a customer but seem to be making a business call if a customer comes in while they're on the work line.

KiddNYC1O 20

I'm sure the perverted boss tapped the work phone line.

sematariux 7

56 you rock

109 - I realize it's unprofessional to use the company phone. I never denied that nor did I say it WAS professional. Please read any other comments I may have made on this thread... they usually explain something crucial. It is ALSO unprofessional to use a cell phone while on the floor, which was the entire point I was trying to make anyway. I don't understand why everyone's telling me it's unprofessional to use the phone at work; I realize, and I did mention that in this thread already.

j_ortiz27 7


are you people for real lol u have nothin better to do then talk about how unprofessional it is to be on the phone at work whos to say for one shes not allowed to use the work phone and second who to say she wasnt on her cell phone seriously people get a life lmfao

Petunia888 13

113: probably just a misunderstanding or they jumped on a minor flaw in a previous comment. I would just shrug it off. One thing we can agree on: OP definitely worked in the "service" department. ;)

talkstoomuch 8

Thank you! I am allowed to use my phone fyi

29 - yes, OP called her boyfriend using a cellphone, thanks for restating the FML, no one is disputing that. SnakeDoctor never called anyone dumb. Don't accuse people of insulting someone else without actually reading what they wrote. You say that most places have regular phones and people are smart enough to use them over cell phones, yet you are defending OP for using a cell phone over a regular phone. I don't see the logic there. You'll probably accuse me of trying to start an argument or something, but I don't care, as you'll just embarrass yourself even more. I rest my case :)

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

165- Bravo *claps* :)

Airforce/165 - We don't know whether she used a cell or not. She did not state that in the FML; and I didn't restate the FML at all. I was arguing another point of view. Okay, I saw after SnakeDoctor hadn't called anyone dumb, but their implications seemed there at the time which is why I commented the way I did. I'm sorry? Shit... what do you want me to say here? People's comments are open to interpretation. I'm sorry yours doesn't match with mine. I'm not defending anyone. Please read the comments I've posted if you're going to criticize them... you're quite the hypocrite for calling me out on that but not doing it yourself. Look up the meaning of 'embarrassed'. I am not embarrassed, sorry to disappoint. Let me reiterate for further reference: It is unprofessional to use a phone while physically on the floor or within customer sight. That said, while both uses (cell and landline) are unprofessional, it appears more professional to be on a land line where you can pretend to be on the phone with another customer. If you show you're on a cell phone, 99% of the time people will know you're not on the phone with a customer. This is not the case with a landline. FYI, I weighed both choices. This is in no way defending.

JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE! We don't know that their 'retail' store could be selling sexy costumes or that maybe they offer a sex hotline on the side, along with the 25 cents peep hole in the back ;)

205, Jeeze girl why the hell do you care so much? Get a life? Get over it!

211 - Why do you care enough to respond? What part of this conversation speaks to you?

talktomandybaby 8


flockz 19

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You're great at sarcasm, when you said you had a big penis i noticed your sarcasm right away, even on the internet!!

How dare you get thumbed down flockz.

I call fake. If not, then you're unproffesional just like your boss.

Haha was he jerkin his gherkin!?

bawlerr75 9

Aha his what? :/

aznpiboy24 5

Really? -_____- I'm pretty sure there's only one thing a man jerks on himself, is it really that hard to figure out

ShroomsOnAcid 16

His eyelashes. He was jerking his eyelashes.

flockz 19

jurging the gherkin slapping the salami beating the meat choking the snake jacking off squeezing and pleasing? any of these ringing a bell?

bawlerr75 9

Ahaha srry blonde moment ;)

KiddNYC1O 20

Like she needs to know that, she's like 12.

oops_im_fucked 8

Please people, the proper term is "jerking the Johnson."

pullin the goalie?

bawlerr75 9

Not even I'm 15 n I know alot more then I shood xp aha trust me ;)

Ok i dont care that you know more than you should but seriously why put a wink with it. ESPECIALLY over the internet.

126- Obviously you dont, because you couldn't even figure out what so called " jerkin the gherkin" was.

it's actually chokin the chicken

Whatever. Lmao.