Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
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Top comments
By
chinosurferchick
| 5
Maybe your boss will give you a raise
By
therob10
| 1
I have a boner
COMMENTS
By
therob10
| 1
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
chris71sk8r
| 8
So the earthquake dropped the clothes rack?
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
Your mom has a boner!
Reply
StopDropNRoll
| 11
Idk about you guys but that was some dam good imagery she used. I think that's what it is at least?
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
I'm not American. Did you not even bother to look at my location?
Reply
xoconnie
| 8
hahh, well is he hot?
Reply
tatababe
| 1
At least you know his weakness
Reply
leilei614
| 11
...seriously! YDI for having phone sex while @ work. Although it is creepy that your boss was listening in and enjoying it...
Reply
tona01
| 16
Blackmail your boss op
Reply
PutItIn
| 8
I don't really find this hard to masturbate to.
Reply
eminemchick
| 19
*sees boner*
"uh.. Uh I'll call you back babe"
"WHAT THE FUCK"
"Oh wow,. I.."
"YOU'RE FIRED"
"fuck."
"uh.. Uh I'll call you back babe"
"WHAT THE FUCK"
"Oh wow,. I.."
"YOU'RE FIRED"
"fuck."
Reply
howrudoin
| 11
I shulda been born and raised in Canada...your cute Canadianbabe420
Reply
nerdfighteria
| 7
95- Somehow, I doubt firing the OP ever crossed her bosses mind . . .
Reply
eminemchick
| 19
106- read op's username.
Reply
SolarGirl32
| 6
Actually, 106, judging by the username, it is entirely possible OP got fired. Either that or quit.
Reply
jeff_chen
| 0
Lol
Reply
Saam143
| 0
I'm not going to thumb this comment because it has 69 thumbs up ;)
Reply
buckeye08
| 10
Sorry, I'll hide better last time.
Reply
buckeye08
| 10
NEXT. Darn it. lol Fail.
Reply
CCrunner2
| 0
Me too
Reply
TylerOMFG
| 7
#24 Wow, very pretty :) and that sucks for the op but you shoulda known he was a sneaky boy, he was just happy to see you talk in those ways XD
Reply
TylerOMFG
| 7
#52 Veryy pretty :) and FYL Op, that does suck for you :(
Reply
ianderson818
| 4
^looking good
Reply
zendaddy0
| 0
I think it's like in some cartoons when the persons cover (the object they're hiding behind) falls at the exact moment they don't want it to
Reply
cdninf
| 4
Nah, must of been the Libyan rebels firing off their weapons.
Reply
talkstoomuch
| 8
What do you mean?
Reply
skinthesnakes
| 6
he must of had a hard day of work!
Reply
skinthesnakes
| 6
did he give you a "hard" time!
Reply
paigeylovesyou
| 0
!!
Reply
GuessWhatKids
| 13
Am I the only one who first thought OP had her boyfriend come into the store and physically have sex with her?
Reply
sherryl_fml
| 0
Ahahahahahahahahaha
Reply
AnthonyN
| 5
What's your YouTube account name?
Reply
nerdfighteria
| 7
110- Touché . . .
Reply
Friaza
| 29
The sad part is, judging from OP's name she lost her job :(
Reply
Stonedmanalex
| 0
lol anyone noticed how 42 fucked up and changed the subject
Reply
ITIvRAPTORvITI
| 0
hey baby ;)
Reply
ireallylikewomen
| 0
you shouldve known saying that would get you 60 thumbs downs
Reply
Bobthedrunk
| 2
Let him listen again. I smell promotion!
Reply
construction
| 7
no your retarded
Reply
isallwaysme
| 27
I swear I totally had this boner before you started moaning.
By
flufflybuttons
| 4
first
Reply
NuTrees
| 9
Sike! That's the wrong number!
By
chinosurferchick
| 5
Maybe your boss will give you a raise
Reply
TGRandom
| 5
He gave himself a raise
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Sorry to jump in but I think he fired her or she quit. Hence, her username. So, yeah #10 is right.
Reply
StopDropNRoll
| 11
Am I the only one who notices OP's name is MissCan'tKeepAJob? Pretty sure she got fires so yea he's right ^
Reply
TGRandom
| 5
Therefore you are not the only one.
Reply
loserman67
| 35
sounds like he already showed her a "raise"
Reply
loserman67
| 35
It sounds like she gave him the raise
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Make up your mind. ^
Reply
leilei614
| 11
#34 - are we the only one's not surprised that the OP can't keep a job with antics like these?
Reply
TheDeadlyBones
| 0
She's right... Seeing as how u gave him 1... :3
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TheColorOfAir
| 3
He
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sherryl_fml
| 0
Fucking LOL
Reply
nejacobsen
| 0
Haha
Reply
TGRandom
| 5
186 Love the picture :)
Reply
cubancgar
| 0
I think the boss got the raise
Reply
BallsFace
| 0
40 is an indecisive transformer.
Reply
kiefenator
| 0
It looks like
*puts on sunglasses*
You gave Him a raise!
yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh!
*puts on sunglasses*
You gave Him a raise!
yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh!
By
perdix
| 29
If he tipped over the rack with his boner, you may want to trade in your boyfriend and move up to doing middle management.
Reply
crazychick1269
| 7
haha classy comment
Reply
lorenzoman77
| 7
I wish my girlfriend would feel frisky when I call her :( well at least when I get one. Double :(
Reply
Dalliance
| 4
Love how the first three comments (#1, 3, and 4) each have successively higher numbers of thumbs up. As of right now, 193, 231, and 304.
Reply
smurfsarwales
| 9
Get a boner! LIKE A BOSS!!!
Reply
goldenone
| 2
ladies and gentleman. perdix is back!
Reply
JayJaysGirl
| 0
AwHellYeah!
By
ThatsSOBforshort
| 2
That's professional.
By
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
Why? You shouldn't even have you're phone out at work, it shows your boss how unprofessional you are
Reply
talktomandybaby
| 8
Her boss obviously doesnt think it's unprofessional if he has a boner. He would of said something to her if he thought it was unprofessional, but apparently not?
Reply
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
Not that, it's unprofessional that she is making phone calls during work
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
Perhaps she used the work phone to call her boyfriend? Don't call someone dumb if you haven't thought of all the possibilities. Yes, everyone has a cell nowadays, but most workplaces have a phone, and a lot of people are smart enough to use that for a phone call rather than using their cell.
Reply
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
29- I never called someone dumb..
Reply
mudkipsan
| 19
Because having phone sex with your boyfriend on the company line is so much better?
Reply
kahnforyourmom
| 2
I'm pretty sure it's still unprofessional to have phone sex using a work phone...unless of course your job is on a sex hotline.
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
I never said it was professional to have phone sex anywhere at work. What I did say was that people aren't usually stupid enough to do that on their cell phones... they can easily be seen by a customer but seem to be making a business call if a customer comes in while they're on the work line.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
I'm sure the perverted boss tapped the work phone line.
Reply
sematariux
| 7
56 you rock
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
109 - I realize it's unprofessional to use the company phone. I never denied that nor did I say it WAS professional. Please read any other comments I may have made on this thread... they usually explain something crucial. It is ALSO unprofessional to use a cell phone while on the floor, which was the entire point I was trying to make anyway. I don't understand why everyone's telling me it's unprofessional to use the phone at work; I realize, and I did mention that in this thread already.
Reply
j_ortiz27
| 7
tl;dr
Reply
jimbobpro87
| 0
are you people for real lol u have nothin better to do then talk about how unprofessional it is to be on the phone at work whos to say for one shes not allowed to use the work phone and second who to say she wasnt on her cell phone seriously people get a life lmfao
Reply
Petunia888
| 13
113: probably just a misunderstanding or they jumped on a minor flaw in a previous comment. I would just shrug it off.
One thing we can agree on: OP definitely worked in the "service" department. ;)
One thing we can agree on: OP definitely worked in the "service" department. ;)
Reply
talkstoomuch
| 8
Thank you! I am allowed to use my phone fyi
Reply
airforce987
| 20
29 - yes, OP called her boyfriend using a cellphone, thanks for restating the FML, no one is disputing that.
SnakeDoctor never called anyone dumb. Don't accuse people of insulting someone else without actually reading what they wrote.
You say that most places have regular phones and people are smart enough to use them over cell phones, yet you are defending OP for using a cell phone over a regular phone. I don't see the logic there.
You'll probably accuse me of trying to start an argument or something, but I don't care, as you'll just embarrass yourself even more.
I rest my case :)
SnakeDoctor never called anyone dumb. Don't accuse people of insulting someone else without actually reading what they wrote.
You say that most places have regular phones and people are smart enough to use them over cell phones, yet you are defending OP for using a cell phone over a regular phone. I don't see the logic there.
You'll probably accuse me of trying to start an argument or something, but I don't care, as you'll just embarrass yourself even more.
I rest my case :)
Reply
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
165- Bravo *claps* :)
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
Airforce/165 - We don't know whether she used a cell or not. She did not state that in the FML; and I didn't restate the FML at all. I was arguing another point of view.
Okay, I saw after SnakeDoctor hadn't called anyone dumb, but their implications seemed there at the time which is why I commented the way I did. I'm sorry? Shit... what do you want me to say here? People's comments are open to interpretation. I'm sorry yours doesn't match with mine.
I'm not defending anyone. Please read the comments I've posted if you're going to criticize them... you're quite the hypocrite for calling me out on that but not doing it yourself.
Look up the meaning of 'embarrassed'. I am not embarrassed, sorry to disappoint.
Let me reiterate for further reference: It is unprofessional to use a phone while physically on the floor or within customer sight. That said, while both uses (cell and landline) are unprofessional, it appears more professional to be on a land line where you can pretend to be on the phone with another customer. If you show you're on a cell phone, 99% of the time people will know you're not on the phone with a customer. This is not the case with a landline. FYI, I weighed both choices. This is in no way defending.
Okay, I saw after SnakeDoctor hadn't called anyone dumb, but their implications seemed there at the time which is why I commented the way I did. I'm sorry? Shit... what do you want me to say here? People's comments are open to interpretation. I'm sorry yours doesn't match with mine.
I'm not defending anyone. Please read the comments I've posted if you're going to criticize them... you're quite the hypocrite for calling me out on that but not doing it yourself.
Look up the meaning of 'embarrassed'. I am not embarrassed, sorry to disappoint.
Let me reiterate for further reference: It is unprofessional to use a phone while physically on the floor or within customer sight. That said, while both uses (cell and landline) are unprofessional, it appears more professional to be on a land line where you can pretend to be on the phone with another customer. If you show you're on a cell phone, 99% of the time people will know you're not on the phone with a customer. This is not the case with a landline. FYI, I weighed both choices. This is in no way defending.
Reply
quesidias
| 0
JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE! We don't know that their 'retail' store could be selling sexy costumes or that maybe they offer a sex hotline on the side, along with the 25 cents peep hole in the back ;)
Reply
lululove123
| 1
205, Jeeze girl why the hell do you care so much? Get a life? Get over it!
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
211 - Why do you care enough to respond? What part of this conversation speaks to you?
By
talktomandybaby
| 8
BAHAHAHAH.
By
flockz
| 19
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
tona01
| 16
You're great at sarcasm, when you said you had a big penis i noticed your sarcasm right away, even on the internet!!
Reply
Tona01 = win XD
Reply
hailphire130
| 0
How dare you get thumbed down flockz.
By
GigaPudding_fml
| 24
I call fake. If not, then you're unproffesional just like your boss.
By
killabeez12
| 0
Haha was he jerkin his gherkin!?
Reply
bawlerr75
| 9
Aha his what? :/
Reply
aznpiboy24
| 5
Really? -_____- I'm pretty sure there's only one thing a man jerks on himself, is it really that hard to figure out
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
His eyelashes. He was jerking his eyelashes.
Reply
flockz
| 19
jurging the gherkin
slapping the salami
beating the meat
choking the snake
jacking off
squeezing and pleasing?
any of these ringing a bell?
slapping the salami
beating the meat
choking the snake
jacking off
squeezing and pleasing?
any of these ringing a bell?
Reply
bawlerr75
| 9
Ahaha srry blonde moment ;)
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Like she needs to know that, she's like 12.
Reply
oops_im_fucked
| 8
Please people, the proper term is "jerking the Johnson."
Reply
LaneDoyleStoleMy
| 0
pullin the goalie?
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bawlerr75
| 9
Not even I'm 15 n I know alot more then I shood xp aha trust me ;)
Reply
A13X33STJ
| 0
Ok i dont care that you know more than you should but seriously why put a wink with it. ESPECIALLY over the internet.
Reply
AllTiimeLow
| 1
126- Obviously you dont, because you couldn't even figure out what so called " jerkin the gherkin" was.
Reply
mikeduse
| 0
it's actually chokin the chicken
Reply
AllTiimeLow
| 1
Whatever. Lmao.