"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 3 109

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Same thing different taste

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 127

You deserved it 57 589

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 14:09 - United States - Concord

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 25 430

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 763

You deserved it 885

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 542

You deserved it 2 450

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 979

You deserved it 3 559

You wanker

By dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 3 563

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 253

You deserved it 7 486

Wanker

By Sandman2015 - 29/01/2016 18:36 - United States - American Fork

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 1 927

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 163

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 192

JoanT 11

Tuesday 29 September 2020 23:13

Jesus at work on a yoga mat at least go to the bathroom next time 🤦🏽‍♀️

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 29 September 2020 23:35

Unless you are a **** star, you are paid to work not **********. Use some judgement.

Comments

JoanT 11

Tuesday 29 September 2020 23:13

Jesus at work on a yoga mat at least go to the bathroom next time 🤦🏽‍♀️

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 30 September 2020 2:46

Or she could sit behind her desk.

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 29 September 2020 23:35

Unless you are a **** star, you are paid to work not **********. Use some judgement.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 30 September 2020 5:07

Sometimes, there's down time at work where you can do other things. I wouldn't recommend masturbating at work. Chatting up secretaries is somewhat better.

Grizz8831 14

Saturday 3 October 2020 12:55

Wrong when you are on the clock they OWN you. if you are done your work, do someone else's, clean, lick your bosses feet. You do whatever it is they want you to in order to make them more money. But make sure you get it done by bell or stay late to finish. /sarcasm... I agree though if you finish your shit early you did your job right relax a bit maybe tidy to make it easier for later. or you know, get your rocks off in the open like op.