Kids: Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after... - FML

23/08/2011 15:55 - United States

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 4 978

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Best birthday ever!

Overreach

Work together!

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Norden

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 100

16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 10 286

19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 457

You deserved it 1 612

09/01/2013 07:02 - Israel

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 514

You deserved it 2 741

12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 523

You deserved it 4 618

Still got game

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 12:52 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 311

You deserved it 2 129

13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 115

You deserved it 12 082

31/10/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 859

You deserved it 27 318

Skipped town

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to my girlfriend's apartment, but it was empty. I went to her parents' house, it was empty as well. She isn’t responding to my messages, so I guess I got ghosted in real life and online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 96

12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 679

You deserved it 12 702

23/06/2009 05:04 - France

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 68 721

14/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 072

You deserved it 4 084

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 346

31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 8 813

Nice

By mandiballz - 12/01/2010 06:46 - United States

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year-old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He said, "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 724

You deserved it 4 437

01/08/2015 03:30 - United States - Greensboro

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 337

You deserved it 1 995

Thanks, dude

By jamiedevin - 06/11/2010 04:04 - United States

Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 4 812

20/02/2010 00:37 - United States

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 123

You deserved it 5 589

05/09/2016 08:17 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 11 488

16/06/2011 16:03 - United States

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 6 158

To make an omelette

By EggyBum - 26/01/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 089

You deserved it 30 456

23/01/2013 19:33 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 272

You deserved it 3 741

30/07/2019 20:00

Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 217

29/01/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 2 651

14/01/2011 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 4 337

19/11/2015 08:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 010

You deserved it 2 229

07/09/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 912

You deserved it 47 278

09/07/2014 16:54 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 286

You deserved it 3 972

Don't hate the playa…

By Dannikins - 05/11/2020 01:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 82

10/06/2012 06:24 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 928

You deserved it 36 517

27/02/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 293

You deserved it 36 311

09/09/2015 19:55 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 310

You deserved it 2 925

31/10/2013 16:58 - United States - Marion

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 917

You deserved it 6 194

18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 314

You deserved it 7 053

28/06/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 970

You deserved it 72 098

Interpreter blues

By Aleksandar Veljović - 25/11/2020 05:01

Today, at the hospital, I had to tell someone he was going to die because I was the only one to speak his language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 54

07/08/2013 20:55 - Sweden

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 017

You deserved it 5 667

06/02/2015 04:14 - Australia - Wagga Wagga

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 122

You deserved it 5 609

17/09/2013 16:38 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 467

You deserved it 6 888

16/12/2012 17:26 - Canada - Uxbridge

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 181

You deserved it 55 194

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:56

Hopefully they didn't play in the 'mud' either...

KushMastaDisasta 3

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

FYL for letting your kids go into the play area at McDanks.

Comments

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:56

Hopefully they didn't play in the 'mud' either...

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:56

I play in the bathroom all the time..who doesn't?

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 1:41

6. How old do u have to be to know wuts urine?

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 14:57

lol I once stepped in pee at Macas in the play thing, trying to get my sister. well, I think it was pee, u can never tell in that place

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:56

Ew... That's why you don't let your kids play there. But that's more of an FML for them than it is for you, don't you think?

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

They're probably not old enough to register that it's urine, so I don't think so.

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:59

Shit. The comment that I was replying to got deleted so it got posted here. Sorry about that.

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:53

^ I was wondering what you were talking about. Np

Feklfekl2222 32

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

Since when does Mcdonalds have a play area

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:00

They always have!

Feklfekl2222 32

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:10

I've never seen one but it might just be where I live

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:11

Since you were dumb.

Feklfekl2222 32

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:29

FML poll- has anyone that lives in the north-east of England seen a play area in macky d's?

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:32

In different variations yup that's my goal

welandedonthemoo 5

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:39

Macky d's? Isn't it micki d's

Feklfekl2222 32

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 20:00

Im not talking about Mcdonalds in ops area I'm talking about Mcdonalds in my area to see of um the only one. And it's macky d's that I'm used to

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 20:08

its ok 67.. your picture makes up for your lack of coherence.

DrCocorevenge 0

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:03

pikachu is a mouse

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 12:05

For Real ? Like 3 Out Of 5 Of Them Have Play Places .....

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 17:19

It's okay man I'm in Copenhagen and there are none here either. I think its a European thing and everyone that gave you a thumbs down is American where they have a fucking mcdonalds on every corner of every street.

Feklfekl2222 32

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 19:00

I thought it was a north eastern England thing so that's why I was asking but now you say that it does make more sense

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Thursday 25 August 2011 5:20

Since like forever! Maybe it's the location,

Stryker78cRS 15

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Saturday 8 March 2014 15:17

Every mcadees I go to has 1

foxyhasmybooty 16

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Thursday 11 December 2014 0:24

Shut the fuck up everyone especially you douche bag some McDonald restaurants DON'T have play places so fuck off and leave #67 alone!!!

WellThatSucksMaj 0

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

Gag me.

KushMastaDisasta 3

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

FYL for letting your kids go into the play area at McDanks.

KushMastaDisasta 3

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:01

I meant YDI*

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Monday 28 April 2014 10:03

right??!! its not a daycare, you still have yo watch them! YDI OP for not paying more attention to them in there. I worked at McDonald's in high school the nansty and dangerous stuff we pulled out of there will forever keep my kids out of any "play place"

8sq 13

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:58

You mean that's not part of the playground?

Moota 9

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 20:37

Ugh, I can't believe I used to play there. That's just sickening.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:59

Oh that is one of the most disgusting things I have read on this site, but honestly how old are your kids? It doesn't take much intelligence to know what liquid you are frolicking in.

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:04

Yeah think they should of repelled to the bad smell of urine rather then play with it.

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:16

they probably didn't know considering how gross a McDonald's normally smells

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:59

Why were u not watching them?

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Wednesday 24 August 2011 4:42

Same reason why parents were not watching their kids to prevent them from taking a piss in the play area.

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Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:59

ewwwww thts nasty

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 55

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 143