Intimacy: Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so...

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 118

You deserved it 57 538

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 3 058

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 5 991

By unknown - 08/03/2014 00:53 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 28 795

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 066

You deserved it 358

Mixing it up

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 48 855

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 736

You deserved it 32 273

By Peter Steele love - 18/10/2015 00:49 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 125

You deserved it 19 017

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 856

You deserved it 27 887

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 50 978

chinosurferchick 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:09

Maybe your boss will give you a raise

perdix 29

Tuesday 23 August 2011 22:10

If he tipped over the rack with his boner, you may want to trade in your boyfriend and move up to doing middle management.

Comments

valerie7188 10

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:53

Haha nice

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 24 August 2011 1:06

"Clean up in aisle 3!"

Garon300 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 1:20

Next time you wanna talk dirty, wait until you get home. Or at least in a place not so public.

suri23 11

Wednesday 24 August 2011 1:41

Eeuuwwww!

zuzupetalsYO 11

Wednesday 24 August 2011 1:56

Haha there are so many things wrong with this scenerio. I bet you don't get fired though. Lol

talkstoomuch 8

Wednesday 24 August 2011 5:12

I didn't

david12z 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 2:31

It's a compliment. You should have thanked him and screwed him for that compliment. Ha ha what did you say that turned mr boss on?

talkstoomuch 8

Wednesday 24 August 2011 5:14

Classified ;)

shove117 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 3:06

People say you're gonna get a raise, well he already gave you one. If ya know what I'm saying .

lebronsucks 3

Wednesday 24 August 2011 3:19

Haha fired! Look at her name I wonder why.

ggdawg24 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 3:24

Pedo alert!

farahg3 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 4:12

Ahah

Keywords

Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Awkward Family Work Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health AITA Relationship advice Weird Love Cops Miscellaneous Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents Cake Dogs Birthday Transportation Cars Embarrassing Fire

The Top

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 251

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 14 941

The Top

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 795

You deserved it 3 551

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 691

You deserved it 4 106

Today, I found out that when my 7 year old daughter invites her friends to eat dinner with us, she charges them 3 euros for the meal and puts it in her piggy bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 503

You deserved it 567

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 76

Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 028

You deserved it 5 567

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 4 731