Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML
Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML
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Top comments
TypicalSenpai 14
Sorry OP, but that's pretty damn genius.
cameron6731 13
Don't be shy let it fly
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Comments (92)
Atiq 7
that guy knew when to place his bomb.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Calm down before you have a fart attack.
False_Stupidity 42
Have to admit, that's genius timing by the culprit.
JacobRSE 18
A literal asshole... hehe.
trey600rr 22
that's what you get for wearing flip flops to the office! Dress to impress!
Bibliovore 26
In an office where there's no dress code and where everyone else dresses down, dressing up can get you pegged as an oddball who doesn't get the culture. In my office, if someone dresses up the usual assumption is that they're going to either an interview or a funeral.
thathappened94 7
Aww
UncleCaitlyn 21
That was too perfectly timed he waited for his moment and struck when he had the chance
yourwifelovesme 25
love how you called the guy that farted an asshole lmaooooo
crackajak 15
How does your newly invented acronym work exactly? Did you infinitely laugh your ass "off"?
vikky538 29
Your flip flops are a big flop in this case
JKPwnage 27
"some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart" "some asshole" "fart" tenouttaten five stars a plus