By welcometomylife - Germany - Hanover Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 2898 You deserved it 356 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Morgannaken - United States Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML I agree, your life sucks 32538 You deserved it 4006 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By livgasms - United Kingdom Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML I agree, your life sucks 30690 You deserved it 5083 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mushroomtop Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML I agree, your life sucks 1870 You deserved it 3390 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ipickthegoodones - United States Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML I agree, your life sucks 53913 You deserved it 6599 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lilybelle11 - 3/11/2020 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane New quest Today, it became apparent that my boyfriend only showers when he levels up on World of Warcraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 871 You deserved it 129 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cloudish - Germany Today, I finally had the guts to tell my best friend that I like him more than just as a friend. I was about to tell him when he excitedly told me that he met the love of his life yesterday. FML I agree, your life sucks 4965 You deserved it 590 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By possibly fucked - Portugal - Lisbon Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML I agree, your life sucks 66697 You deserved it 9495 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By paaaallllmmmssss - South Africa - Johannesburg Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 22141 You deserved it 3269 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn Today, as always, I'd be so incredibly happy if my girlfriend loved me even half as much as she loves her cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 12054 You deserved it 1864 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CantBlink - United States - Jersey City Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML I agree, your life sucks 26597 You deserved it 2690 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 19:58 Tetchy Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML I agree, your life sucks 739 You deserved it 180 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokeasscollegelife - United States - Tallahassee Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML I agree, your life sucks 22519 You deserved it 3414 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Don’t Think About It. Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1336 You deserved it 200 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML I agree, your life sucks 36592 You deserved it 6173 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML I agree, your life sucks 4054 You deserved it 206 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML I agree, your life sucks 38601 You deserved it 3412 251 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ring-a-ding-ding - United States - Sparks Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML I agree, your life sucks 37099 You deserved it 3568 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jessica - United States Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 39200 You deserved it 7433 219 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - United States Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 47421 You deserved it 3245 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 9440 You deserved it 34478 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DaveAlmighty - United States Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML I agree, your life sucks 54094 You deserved it 12272 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By please stay on the line Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML I agree, your life sucks 5773 You deserved it 869 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML I agree, your life sucks 39130 You deserved it 3104 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By assdialed. - United States Today, I got a phone call from my dad that I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but it left me an accidental voicemail saying "Oh s***, I didn't mean to call her!" FML I agree, your life sucks 35463 You deserved it 2577 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DyingOfShame - United Kingdom Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML I agree, your life sucks 37012 You deserved it 8432 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML I agree, your life sucks 38408 You deserved it 8386 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML I agree, your life sucks 22986 You deserved it 4282 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nobody - United States Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML I agree, your life sucks 62396 You deserved it 3241 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lars - United States Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 34879 You deserved it 5825 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By published_anthropologist - United States Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 50972 You deserved it 10144 380 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Santa Cruz Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML I agree, your life sucks 19668 You deserved it 5762 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nope - 29/3/2020 14:00 Influencers know no bounds Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 2290 You deserved it 138 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flavored - United States Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 49092 You deserved it 19359 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skyplaysguitar - United States - Las Cruces Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 29970 You deserved it 6403 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StungAlot - United States Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML I agree, your life sucks 27306 You deserved it 2719 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Medfail - United Kingdom - Bath Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML I agree, your life sucks 7628 You deserved it 13553 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grace Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML I agree, your life sucks 3380 You deserved it 1305 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Love is… Today, I went to a job interview. At the end of it, after I had got the job, my new manager said, “See you soon.” I then accidentally replied, “You too, love you.” FML I agree, your life sucks 1349 You deserved it 354 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gray_Kitty - United States - Omaha Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML I agree, your life sucks 11603 You deserved it 748 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf babe? - 29/6/2020 14:02 Intruders! Today, I came home to find my husband allowed several of his family members to move in without even asking me. His parents are in the spare room, his brother and wife are in my den and they expect me to make my daughter share her bed with two older cousins. I’m ready to take the kids and leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 2182 You deserved it 119 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tarlachia | 33 #7459078 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 12:14 I think you might have a cat burglar! They left a paw print behind! Send a private message 21 1 Reply
By Dillon Bull | 12 #7459074 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 12:07 Bet you're a bit salty eh? Send a private message 14 1 Reply
By Dillon Bull | 12 #7459074 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 12:07 Bet you're a bit salty eh? Send a private message 14 1 Reply
By Tarlachia | 33 #7459078 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 12:14 I think you might have a cat burglar! They left a paw print behind! Send a private message 21 1 Reply
By Pixiewolfe | 46 #7459156 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 15:10 At last, the lessons from supernatural came in handy. No longer was this FMLer bothered by this GS that go bump in the night! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By CantTouchThat | 27 #7459161 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 15:31 Now just make a circle and you'll be safe from ghosts!! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #7459180 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 16:12 Find the prankster who loosened the lid, and charge him with a-salt. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By extremereviews | 26 #7459203 - Tuesday 23 May 2017 17:10 Quick! Throw a pinch over your left shoulder or you're fucked for eternity spilling that much salt Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Brooke AnnMarie | 5 #7459396 - Wednesday 24 May 2017 0:32 Looks like a cat stepped in it also Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By fantastamazing | 10 #7459420 - Wednesday 24 May 2017 1:50 Why does your salt container have a pop-off bottom? Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By puizui | 8 #7459622 - Wednesday 24 May 2017 15:14 Is it upside down though? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 411 You deserved it 127 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 174 4 Comments