Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
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Top comments
Peeves_fml 17
Scumbag lottery
mzrobinson 13
Sell it and use the money for cake!
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Comments (85)
Enslaved 36
Or "Do you have the time To listen to me "wine"?
UnicornFarts 15
About nothing and everything all at once I am one of those melodramatic fools neurotic to the bone no doubt about it.
Epikouros 31
Sometimes I give myself the creeps... Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.
catanita 18
Take it and give it to somebody else.
liblob 6
i dont think some people seem to get on here the struggles recovering alcoholics have.
AdyK666 7
work of satan!
w0rk3rj4ck 14
it will make a great present someday :)
judea95 16
Bad luck OP. Hope you could exchange it for something of the same value
jblumz 15
you can't ever win the lotto
guit4rheroine 6
I feel like when you enter these things you should have some idea of what the prize is? Like it sucks but ydl for not checking it out first I guess.
mattrd_fml 31
tbere was a show hears ago called Grace Under Fire. it was a comedh, but the main character Grace was a recovering alcoholic. she had a bottle if wine on top her fridge and she called it her trophy because she could resist drinking it. This could be your trophy OP! Just a thought.
imtoolazyforthis 1
that's God telling you it's ok to drink