All of us somehow find the way to do those things that are important to us. OP, you can do this - But you need professional driving instruction. Driving a car is almost nothing like riding a bike - No balancing is required... It is very difficult to live independently in most parts of the USA without driving. It opens up your options. It is one of the necessary first steps in becoming independent... One mistake people make is thinking that if you can drive you can teach another person to drive too. But not all combinations work - I had to pay for driving lessons for both of my children after trying to teach them myself.

The trick is to over-train. Take the advanced maneuvers and defensive driving courses til you can handle a car like it's part of you.

The trick with safe driving is assume no one else is paying attention. Most accidents are avoidable if you just focus and anticipate distracted/aggressive/incompetent drivers. Regarding speed, it only feels fast at first, eventually even 60 MPH will feel like the speed of a brisk jog.

Hey, I'm sorry. I get it though. My friend always says, "humans were not meant to have cars." But, the thing is, many people do, and they're fine. You can drive a car your whole life and be just fine. A little anxiety while driving is a good thing, too. Studies have found that those who think they're not a great driver tend to be the best drivers because they're extra vigilant. But if your anxiety is getting in the way of doing things you want to do, like driving or biking, then maybe your anxiety is the issue, not the driving. You may want to look into therapy to find some relief and empowerment.

I was 20 when I got my licence because I had the EXACT same thought process as you. Everyone pressured me to learn to drive, but I wasn’t ready, and the anxiety made me an unsafe driver. chat with a professional driving instructor and wait until the idea feels more comfortable for you. You’ll know when you’re ready 🤍

you don't trust people to not be dumbasses. you assume everyone is a dumbass and drive defensively. watch everybody.

There are many people in the cities that don't drive. Try to live near a subway or bus route

I can tell you, you don't even have to drive at high speed for shit to happen; I was on my way out in a crossing, in low speed, when a drunk driver crashed into my driver's door between 80 and 90 km/h, and nearly killed me. But it will make driving much more enjoyable, and safer if you're able to not think about that when driving.

Most big cities have decent bus systems and good jobs--you might consider moving. I can highly recommend California cities, plus CA has a great economy.

I live independently and don't drive. It's not a big deal.