Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
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Top comments
Peeves_fml 17
Scumbag lottery
mzrobinson 13
Sell it and use the money for cake!
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Comments (85)
Screwie 25
Sell it for some extra cash - there's your prize.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
if I won the lottery,,I would spend it with everyone in here :-)
noir_heart 8
What shitty lottery gives wine as a prize? That's lame. However, good luck on your recovery. I know how hard it can be. Give the wine to someone else as a gift so you don't have the temptation in your house.
Treveyon56 14
A supermarket lottery if you can read. It wasn't a real lottery.
noir_heart 8
Oh, I guess I only processed the "lottery" part. But still, supermarket lottery or not, they could've given a better prize than one bottle of wine.
DocBastard 38
You can just send it to me, c/o DocBastard, Bastardland. I'm sure I can figure out something to do with it.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Hopefully not the same thing the patient in your user picture did... ;)
Folly_fml 12
I want it to be the same thing that patient did, keep things steamy. You know?
Sweet_Meli 11
Oh poo , I'm sorry op! Stay strong , the fact that your recovering is awesome ! Pshhht , who needs a cheap bottle of wine anyways. Keep your head up
ChristoneDawg 9
WELL....****
Enslaved 36
Wine not give it as a gift?
Fappy69 11
Don't feel bad OP. You can always give the wine away as a gift.
zahra_786 19
Think of it as a test..don't let it fail you on your road of recovery :p. Give it as a gift :)! or sell it to a friend, could be worth a good amount.
awkwardturtl3 3
blame it on the al-al-al-alcoholll (8)