gaggin
Beverly Hills, United States
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Spiderchick
Germany
Hmmmm, breakfast
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
igotpride
United States
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
HighasaCloud
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
ThatsIncentive
Granite Bay, United States
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
dirtbikeguy
Chicago, United States
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
BurnItOff
Melbourne, Australia
The passenger
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
dre_bro11
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Top comments
Nutz101 7
I have to stop eating while reading FML's
jojimugo 20
If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river
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Comments (144)
Welshite 40
Don't you just hate those nighttime munchies?
seandoc 13
Santa must've been good to you!
beehardxcore 26
Mmm, protein!
tzryan 3
Spider favor
MsConfusedd 27
Brush your teeth 58 times
sparkjolt 10
well the myth of swallowing 8 dead spiders in your life is a lie. Spiders love dark moist places, you swallow thousands
z_lite 6
This scares the heck out of me. "Dark, moist places".
CharresBarkrey 16
That is complete bullshit.
rampersaud 10
#86 I ******* love your profile picture.
CharresBarkrey 16
90 - Hey thanks!
CharresBarkrey 16
90 - Hey thanks!
NeonPopRocks 14
Yeah, I love it too! IM A BUFF BABY!
ThatGirlxx 6
Closing my mouth now....
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Listen to your orthodontist, OP! No spiders before you sleep!
perei176 9
What does OP mean?
False_Stupidity 42
Orgasming Penguins
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Oblong penis
kotana191 8
I heard swallowing spiders is a myth. your breathing would blow the little hairs along its legs so it would run away
klutz44 28
This must have been one brave spider.
Maverick52 13
Or maybe OP is dead? 0_0
PipingMouse 14
You had the rumblies...that only spiders could satisfy.
tiffy_mag 4
Pics or it didn't happen
speshlk37 13
Ooh, that's gnarly.