Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
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Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
Wow what a douche! Hopefully you dumped his ass
MEM0817 18
I thought the same thing... But then when I saw the word "boyfriend" the thought of him peeing the bed passed through my head momentarily too.
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Comments (66)
rachelllynne 8
Hopefully his excuse wasn't that he was going to buy something nice for you, although I'm curious to know how he reacted.
BlueRainDude 11
Warm beds aren't that good compared to chilled or cooled beds... That's the really issue. And oh sorry about the credit card... I guess that's kinda bad
kogeld 9
That must really suck...
soldiat_fml 17
SUSPICIOUS AS ****
Yellow_Fish79 11
Uhh... deal breaker for a boyfriend? Thats messed up.
HalseyZ 7
As in the words of a famous song "Everyday is so wonderful, till suddenly, your boyfriend steals your money and movies to Mexico."
Poetaster 10
Your boyfriend is black.. Right?
spekledworf 18
Guilty as charged
gallaeo 21
I'm pretty sure you meant "my now Ex-boyfriend" or I would hope at least. Trust is a major component to any healthy relationship, like glue if you will, & if I can't sleep without worrying about you stealing money/my CC then there's no way I could be with them. That's just my opinion though...you know what they say though opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
shanannygians07 28
He could have been going to get breakfast, on you.