Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
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Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
Wow what a douche! Hopefully you dumped his ass
MEM0817 18
I thought the same thing... But then when I saw the word "boyfriend" the thought of him peeing the bed passed through my head momentarily too.
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Comments (66)
perdix 29
The man's gotta make a living somehow! Being a professional "boyfriend" takes a strong stomach and cunning.
Oxonian3 8
I hope this is the first time he tried to do that /: check your statements!
massinator5 4
What an idiot
perdix 29
That's a sad thing to Discover.
perdix 29
#21, she needs to American Express her feelings by beating him with a Diner's Club.
xblaine 17
Hopefully it was a one night stand.
blackwidowtaco 31
That doesn't really make it any better for op.
silencebabyy 23
That's unfortunate. You'd think you would be able to trust him not to steal things from you.
lysxmt 4
Sounds like a beautiful morning.
katnissmellark_fml 15
then you dumped him, riiight?
supernaturalcat 12
Sorry OP. Better to find out sooner than later. What a butt munch!
AlexRen 21
"Babe my Xbox gold membership expires today, I need your credit card."