Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
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Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
Wow what a douche! Hopefully you dumped his ass
MEM0817 18
I thought the same thing... But then when I saw the word "boyfriend" the thought of him peeing the bed passed through my head momentarily too.
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Comments (66)
cynide 13
Well that escalated quickly.
SallyLove_fml 4
Dump his sorry ass
worldclassrager 39
Apparently it seems that he wants something underground...but whatever happened to asking to borrow so much money for something?
jw90 18
Time to cut him from your life? Or have a serious talk.
MysteryGuest214 10
That's just awful. Off hand, I can't think of a reason on earth why you'd waste any more time with him.
Jessa91 10
Now that's a bad quality to have in a boyfriend....
joopjoop 19
my boyfriend would pee himself in fear if I ever caught him stealing from me
Cat_Upton 8
Oh man he's got a lot of explaining to do
jsc9306 14
Next.... What a loser. Find a new one.
emmybabe987 10
I like how you worded this FML :) but seriously I hope you dumped him. sorry OP :/