Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
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Top comments
thisiscat 14
Maybe that's the point..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would but I'm crying
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Comments (168)
thisiscat 14
Maybe that's the point..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would've been just as scared if she even wished me a happy birthday. Only because no one ever says happy birthday to me :'( *runs to sob in a corner*
BRYEANISBMFC 0
Tell it again.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would but I'm crying
ElricMustang 23
Awwww, someone needs a hug...
FirstTigerHobbes 13
70- How... How nice *sniffle* :') Now according to a code of conduct by the Internet Compliment Committee... We're friends... Best friends.. He he
nerobluerose 10
Maybe she was offering? Like mother like daughter
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Just tell her you're on it.
kittenvks 11
70- THEN, when it's not their birthday you wish them a very merry unbirthday! *breaks out into song* 80- mother in law FMLs have been happening for decades, we just now have a place to put them :)
ladyLALAA 28
Hobbes, hasn't Calvin even wished you a happy birthday? I thought you were best friends? Happy birthday from Australia!
FirstTigerHobbes 13
No, it's only on Christmas when I get a present or special greeting from him, Calvin is either very forgetful, or just a douche when it comes to my birthday. Thank you :)
ben651 1
1/365
DustyStorm 16
Just say, "Thanks! I did!"
ChaCerCam 14
I'm never going to marry a woman who has a crazy ass over protective mother.
MyChemicalSmosh 4
You shouldn't be scared, act like the text never happened.
Cad6 24
Easier said than done.
11mandy80 6
Have fun!!!! Lol jk
Da_Bauss435 8
Exact opposite of what he should do. He should ask her for tips during dinner and just laugh at the awkwardness.
iBanana 17
72- Know what would be far more awkward? Inviting the mother-in-law to a threesome and winking profusely while swallowing....... swallowing sweet tea. Oh, I can't even comprehend the level of awkwarivity of the moment.
mgkgambino 3
126.. What the **** is wrong with u?
iBanana 17
Bad childhood.
Neligee 9
Woah awkward !!!
siickman 7
Thanks captain obvious :)
TheElderTROLLZ 15
That's not awkward! It's a boost for her moral! (Sounded better in my head)
goldfishgod 20
Girl you know I I I
ClosetTroll 10
Maybe she has prepared some special treats, just for you, OP.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Run. Just run.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Brownies?!
yoyoforpeace 14
Is she a milf? :)
my3rdgenipodtouc 0
Hey u r cute lol
tanay97 8
Um... Did anyone else go WTF?
jtthegr8 26
I said LOL
MrSassypants 33
You looked at the FML and SAID "LOL"? Now I say "WTF".
vbmg152 18
Yeah!! Me!!
babjak 6
I said lol! Great sense of humor.
TrollBaby 8
From these comments, I see a few people that enjoy talking to their smart phones or computer and share random acronyms.
nemo88 8
Why would you not want to have sex?????
TheElderTROLLZ 15
100 - When did OP say that?
sergioyslas 1
Really awkward but it would be funny to recieve
Right_Click 12
*receive
iheartdance 6
'I' before 'E' except after 'C' :)
richy90255 8
Well that's awkward but at least try to follow her advice Happy Birthday
iheartstewie7 5
^^ i like your picture ;) I wonder if OP is a guy or a girl because that somehow effects the WTF(!) factor. If you're a guy, be very afraid OP..she could be suggesting something :O
LolFMLnot 10
She might be a lesbian and suggesting the same thing ^
esines 9
Doesn't matter, might have birthday sex?
AspiredMinds 0
Unoriginal. Get a new joke you troll.
ayyemmcee 1
At least she's not a raging bitch to you like most mother-in-laws? Silver lining OP.
lolfood 24
Enjoy!
Pentium_4 27
maybe she was being sarcastic and that's her way of keeping you from coming over