Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
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Top comments
thisiscat 14
Maybe that's the point..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would but I'm crying
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Comments (168)
honeycutt8729 8
It could have been worse. At least she didn't call you by the wrong name, and think you were your spouse's other lover.
iseyixes 18
Yes my MIL occasionally makes sure I'm keeping it spicy in the bedroom. She has even bought me lingerie. Most awkward was her telling me to let her son blow his load on my stomach to help tighten my belly post baby.
mikemmm21 0
So what is bad in that. You are a lucky person to have a such MIL. I wish I had the same.
MissMae93 23
"Meat flute"? Is that the term you use to get all the ladies? Ick.
Devious_Wombat 1
Enjoy it. She gave you her good graces and possibly some good treats when you arrive for dinner.
bubo_fml 10
Watch out! She's trying to make sure you're 'fluffed up' for when she puts in her bid to top you off after dinner!
gabrayal 10
then you should go to her house and have some LOUD, awesome birthday sex with your husband! ;)
YourBabyGirlRav 8
Happy birthday! It's my birthday today too(:
stinkFist232 3
I'll never understand why it's such a taboo talking about sex with anyone related to you in any fashion... Grow up, people. :/
chosha_fml 26
Wow, boundary issues or what?