Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
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Top comments
thisiscat 14
Maybe that's the point..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would but I'm crying
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Comments (168)
xxespxx 2
So... I personally think she's just joking around, bur have I could be wrong. :P
perdix 29
Am I the only one bothered that we don't know the OP's gender? If the OP is a man, that would be a pretty uncomfortable thought! Is the MIL hinting that if her daughter gives him fair to middling birthday sex, she'll make it up to him? Is it just me?
1094568 1
Let's just say she is a very nice lady..
hereinnc 12
You have an awesome MIL be thankful! Happy Birthday OP!
babyz17 0
Haha it's my bday today 2 :) an Thts awkward about ur mom in law
perdix 29
#93, #97, Happy birthday! There's a nice lady in Wisconsin wishing you had great birthday sex, too. She's like to give you some cheese. Let's hope in the name of all that is good and holy that it is literal Wisconsin dairy cheese, and not some weird Urban Dictionary perversion.
jbuckets_404 38
Ah! Good ol' Perdix!
sarahrocrocrocks 5
hey todays my birthday too :)
fuckmebutdontfml 16
then happy birthday to you and may your luck be as great as OPs
The_Hitdude 12
Hmmm....wouldn't really consider your mother-in-law infringing on your sex life 'support'. Most people like to keep their private life....private. I'm assuming this is the case with OP, which is why this is an FML.
swaggisforboys 0
I feel for you bro
GripItRight 10
Do you think she's your pimp? Com'n she obviuosly is being rude because you're f*in her child when you shouldn't be. She can't do anything about but confront you And be rude. Do you deserve it?
prettypinkpixie 9
why shouldn't OP be having sex with their spouse?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"it was the best thirty seconds of my life(my life)"
Niketa01 0
Um...if its an in-law then I don't see how they shouldn't be having sex #102. Haha, that would kind of mean they were married. Maybe I have just been confused all these years. To the real point though...i wish my mother-in-law had that kind of sense of humor :)