Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, it's my birthday and it would be a great day if me and my wife weren’t literally too poor to celebrate it. To make it even better, she won’t have birthday sex with me, because we live with her mom and she’s afraid of her hearing us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
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Top comments
thisiscat 14
Maybe that's the point..
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I would but I'm crying
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Comments (168)
lacrossebrah13 8
Happy birthday:)
dysonsimpson15 1
Maybe she wants to have it with you ahahah
1094568 1
One word....ORGY!!!!!!!
OrangeCreamsicle 0
Looks like someone wants grandchildren.
linkinpark98 23
Aww, family bonding! :')
mrsmillsy 10
Creepy! I guess if she's always that open it's not so bad though.
vampiresam9097 5
At least she likes you :)
novalaise 7
A bit creepy but just get over it
fuckmebutdontfml 16
Just make you turn off the stove first and you're good to go :)
tomtato 10
Maybe it will be a carrot feast!