Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my... - FML

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 3 920

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Same thing different taste

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 451

You deserved it 3 018

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 8 761

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 111

You deserved it 4 057

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 634

You deserved it 23 376

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 65

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 786

You deserved it 3 103

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 838

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 923

You deserved it 5 106

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 69

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 332

You deserved it 2 404

Next

Top comments

garrettcodd 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:07

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...

kingnate16 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:02

did u join him?

Comments

rebekahah 7

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:14

relentlessly... that word always makes me smile. :) I had to read this like ten times because all I saw was 'sitting'.

starryxeyes 2

Wednesday 15 June 2011 1:53

I read it as 'sitting' at first too. I had to re-read it twice because I knew that couldn't have been right.

bonnie_vb8 5

Wednesday 15 June 2011 6:44

haha me too

pancakeboss 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 7:59

ha same

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:15

Slide him over your magazine rack.

untoldfame 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:17

what, was it a fury shit?

xora 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:20

dude how u got there

amerwin 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:21

I hope you rubbed his face in it and told him, "NO!"

cgchamp89 7

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:22

What's with all of these FMLs about homeless people? It's like because they are homeless, it's normal, or more acceptable, for them to do these types of things...

ericka216 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:24

I'm curious as to how the OP reacted to that? what the fuckkk?!!

ericka216 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 22:24

sounds about right.

BrettJ 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:29

Well that happens to the best of us!!¡

wsquah 4

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:29

relentlessly!

UnfOrg1ven 1

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:30

that's unusual..

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 837

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 297

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I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 2 480

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work only to find out they make a clackety-clack noise with every step on the tiles in the company's corridors. My coworkers are now convinced I'm secretly training for a tap dance competition in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 128