Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
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Top comments
kirstyfaerie 0
only half naked? you're not very ambitious.
birchofacookie 0
That's weird. Today, I was having sex on a boat with a hot brunette. Then, I woke up. And Samus slapped me.
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Comments (128)
bigraws23 0
#12 yes they do dig it
glitter_kiss 0
rofl @ 5
g739 0
ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO WAKE UP IN A DREAM AND THEN WAKE UP FOR REAL
Bored_2_Death 0
Actually it is possible, it's called a false awakening. "A false awakening is an event in which someone DREAMS they have awoken from sleep." ^ That's right from the wikipedia page.^
ayylash 0
I'm kinda curious as to what went on in the two minutes between awakenings ;)
mumafiedmustangs 0
I "f"ing hate that
obviously_damned 0
....what half?
BBkid 0
#12 brunettes r just naturall beautiful haha. That sucks dude xD
amber_kathlene 4
#32, blondes have more fun. Trust me, i know, im blonde ;P
Haraxius 0
OP, u have my sympathies. That happens to me every morning... Except instead of just waking up, it's my mom yelling "Get the F*ck out of bed!"
Skinner13 9
Awww my grandma does that with me only she says," get the f*ck outta bed u lazy bitch!!! U gotta go to school sometime!!!"
sucktobeyou 0
guess what....and his wife woke up having the same feeling as he did
nikkiandyou 0
awww, lol. im sure youll find your beautiful brunette one day. dont worry :)