By 3lavyaa - United Kingdom

Good morning!

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33915

4756

Big bastard boss

This guy is a GENIUS

Noise annoys

By No Job - United States - Prairieville

Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13314

You deserved it

30474

Favorite

By katta2009 - United States

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36254

You deserved it

2572

Favorite

By Crispy cripple

Today, my dorm's fire alarm went off. In the rush to escape, I slipped and fell off my bunk bed, breaking my ankle in two places. Crying, I told my roommates I needed help to walk. They shrugged and left after mentioning that I would slow them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3185

You deserved it

255

Favorite

By prettylady? - United States

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35019

You deserved it

2835

Favorite

By lonergirl - Australia

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35000

You deserved it

3913

Favorite

By AcademicAdvisor - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13799

You deserved it

1113

Favorite

By Steven, Customer Service - United States - Dover Plains

"Hey, where the white women at?"

Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6750

You deserved it

439

Favorite

By crashingdown - Australia

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29015

You deserved it

14552

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29341

You deserved it

6721

Favorite

By mortenp - United States

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14115

You deserved it

44789

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Racine

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24817

You deserved it

1629

Favorite

By Boltz719 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36481

You deserved it

3848

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33994

You deserved it

4637

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/7/2020 02:00

Goldfinger

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1718

You deserved it

169

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21649

You deserved it

2766

Favorite

By unknown

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33518

You deserved it

5942

Favorite

By ambermcnulty - France

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24077

You deserved it

6040

Favorite

By Username - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1581

You deserved it

216

Favorite

By kp - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8855

You deserved it

58621

Favorite

By IBleedArbor - United States

Realistic

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48150

You deserved it

4997

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32947

You deserved it

3728

Favorite

By blah - Canada

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

I agree, your life sucks

66772

You deserved it

3796

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Hartford

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51188

You deserved it

3341

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46246

You deserved it

6763

Favorite

By estephi - France

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36005

You deserved it

3101

Favorite

By awkward - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71966

You deserved it

7228

Favorite

By ima nerd - United States

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33208

You deserved it

5832

Favorite

By miapapaya - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56200

You deserved it

6625

Favorite

By hedayk - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24217

You deserved it

11972

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9665

You deserved it

40455

Favorite

By Beanzbeanz - Canada

Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50934

You deserved it

10477

Favorite

By FailingMyCourse - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13168

You deserved it

27168

Favorite

By holyshitsnacks - Canada - Woodstock

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37420

You deserved it

7803

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33906

You deserved it

14078

Favorite

By whoreticulturalist - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29513

You deserved it

15457

Favorite

By Drewski - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I am recovering from my second back surgery. I survived four years in the Army with one combat tour without major injury, only to destroy my back the day after discharge by lifting my mother-in-law's suitcase into the trunk of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9137

You deserved it

602

Favorite

By dog_day - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28306

You deserved it

2684

Favorite

By yup - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23117

You deserved it

57016

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Leandro

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52663

You deserved it

4543

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37919

You deserved it

4111

Favorite

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Top comments

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

By sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

COMMENTS

By superstephen4 | 5

#608838 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:02

wow. fyl

ryguy997 | 0

#977473 - Saturday 10 April 2010 22:22

why would you nail paper to the wall? ever heard of tape? LOGIC PEOPLE LOGIC!!

Nine001 | 0

#1664308 - Monday 8 November 2010 5:12

Did he/she ruin the poster or something?

123amanda123 | 14

#3491032 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:17

wow lol imagine that ..... that story made my day! :p

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

NewEngland | 0

#608864 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:11

ha yes. but it's buy

By cuteguyoO | 0

#608894 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:31

i would like to see dat happen

By RequiemCube | 0

#608913 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:44

Oh, there's the problem... you need one of those load-bearing posters.

By Ohnothingreally | 0

#608918 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:47

That just sucks.

By Azrael84_phd3 | 0

#608921 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:49

Wow, lmfao, funny.

By ananamoose | 0

#608926 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:52

maybe finally, you can try your ever strong dream of wanting to fly

By mcdworker | 0

#608932 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:56

wow. random.

By kremit | 1

#608967 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:15

hmm idk is it really necessary to nail a poster to the window frame? a thumbtack would have worked. YDI

sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

kremit | 1

#610012 - Thursday 8 October 2009 7:11

thanks : )

By 9az00 | 0

#608999 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:35

bawhaha!! I wish I had that on video!