Love: Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in... - FML

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

agreeclassic 73 423

vote type 1 19 728

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Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

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By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

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By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

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By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

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By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

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By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

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How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

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Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

agreeclassic 1 496

vote type 1 560

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

kirstyfaerie 0

Friday 6 March 2009 5:35

only half naked? you're not very ambitious.

birchofacookie 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:24

That's weird. Today, I was having sex on a boat with a hot brunette. Then, I woke up. And Samus slapped me.

Comments

wethekings7 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 18:21

erotic much???

chrisauh 4

Wednesday 5 May 2010 3:14

my girls a blond!!! yeah shes got an awesome tan too!

shitheads 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 2:28

muwahahahahaha that was hilarious

iAmLol_fml 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:58

lololololololol nice one... 400 lbs

joeyisinsane 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 4:24

YDI for dreaming

NyopQ 6

Thursday 3 June 2010 21:02

5# roflmao

confused_chick 0

Friday 11 June 2010 20:47

WOW that's messed up!!! Well who knows maybe tomorrow you'll dream about a beautiful half naked blonde tomorrow??!! :)

467itsbritt 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 23:01

who ya missing?and soorry hun hope find dat gal

Flipp1 1

Monday 5 July 2010 11:19

u gay

Frightening_fml 0

Friday 30 July 2010 14:12

LOLFAIL

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Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

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Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

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Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

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Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

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Today, I saw a missed call on my phone. Thinking it was one of the multiple jobs I applied for, I called back. Turns out it was just a debt collector. FML

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