Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles....

By fartypeepee - 18/07/2009 10:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 468

You deserved it 10 501

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Same thing different taste

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 861

You deserved it 301

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 004

You deserved it 2 509

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 039

You deserved it 2 647

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 150

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 193

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 277

You deserved it 18 037

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 987

You deserved it 4 787

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 4 669

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 640

You deserved it 3 249

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 4 857

korty13 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:07

why do u think they're called **** roaches

iSmellNice 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:05

lol cockroaches turned you on

Comments

BonitaMami 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 19:54

that is nasty u that dirty

NewLight8421 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 20:42

hitler only had one ******** and a pigs is shaped like a corkscrew... just be glad your not one of them :P

sylvia_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 20:55

looooooooool ewww ... that's gross

Jareth_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:10

Haha, I like your username.

lulatanatha 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:20

you enjoyed it??? perv, but HAHAHA, that is classic, so amazing,

eiji_chan 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:54

Say good-bye to anyone ever going down on you.

iFRUiTTART 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:22

Ewwwww . . . you know what , I bet you threw the covers back on and let them finish the job . . .

Sapphy 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 0:29

omg, thats disgusting... but so ******* funny!

aquarius6 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 0:45

wash ur sheets

awoodenhouse 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 1:31

you have to be pretty despicably gross if roaches are roaming your bedsheets at will. try basic hygiene - it's a little more work than the zero you are obviously doing, but you might like it.