By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 258
You deserved it 48 013

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hold your breath

FriskyTaco 0

At least he didn't shit the bed...


hold your breath

Meth is one hell of a deug OP.

And that OP is when you ditch.

Love the gas Meg, LOVE THE GAS!!

Majstr 23

You should probably cut your arm than. To get free.

Just suck it up, OP. If he is so disgusting, and you screwed him anyway, I doubt smelling his fart is going to make YOU more disgusting.

"You're a smart fella, dad." "And you're a fart smeller, meg."

Nothing like a loud smelly fart to make you feel better

Any normal person would get horny after hearing this. No? Just me? I'll just crawl back to my corner then...

12- I screw, I nut, I bolt.

56- I have a pretty big project coming up that I need help with. I'm trying to build an "observation box" that doubles as a tree house, so I can spy on the young boys from, and when they get curious, we can play games in, like see who can take the most Tylenol PM. You do that kind of screwing, nutting, and bolting right?

Yeah, it probably smells like Satan's ass gas.

Stonedmanalex 0

wow 9 is right tucson is the meth capital of arizona

Hayman68 4

"7 am waking up in the morning..."

"Gotta feel fresh, gotta go down stairs."

No, kinky lol jk

9 months later......

FriskyTaco 0

At least he didn't shit the bed...

AshBop 5

Or maybe he did and that's why she swore she'd never be intimate with him again.... I wouldn't want to share a bed with a guy who couldn't control his bowels either.

burninnapalm 5

16 - idk about you, but it is kinda impossible to control your farts while your asleep... You know the whole not being conscious thing kinda puts a hamper on that

AshBop 5

26- I dunno about you, but I'm pretty sure normal people can control whether or not they take a dump in the bed...

A man will still love you more for dealing with the smell.

YDI. You now have to experience the walk of shame smelling like poop.

I bet it turned you on

Ninja_assassinXD 8

I swear he better be hot AF or else you're an idiot.

She must be an idiot.Even if he is hot as fuck there is a reason she swore she wouldn't screw him again.

a_nutritionist 10

i know right, never pass up sex with a hot guy! thats like the only type of sex worth like having! right on sister!!!111one

Fuck emotionally related sex, have sex with attractive people, just because their genetics are better than others!

FunnyGuy5051 7

yea fuck condoms, who doesn't want stds?

Shouldn't have had that fourth beer.

Majstr 23

Alcohol is a bitch!

If you swore to never get intimate with him again I would have chosen to either make him leave (if you're at your house) or leave (if you're at his house).

Fapootles 0