Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
tpag3r 0
DAD WIN! you should consider yourself lucky your parents arent embarrassing in a worse way
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
kingston52 0
You were at a school dinner.... ... in august?
sportastef 0
Why is having a school dinner in August weird? My school started 2 weeks ago. In the south, school starts way earlier.
gbhlaughingstock 0
Yeah, I'm in Chesapeake, Virginia. Haha the only reason why I don't mind saying it on the Internet is because there are freaking millions of people in this city... xD
NGM_47 0
"in the south, school starts way earlier." No, it doesn't! We haven't started yet =P
moonshine_bek 2
What is all this family dinner at school business? I'm from Britain and we have nothing like it!
Jacobt24 19
I'm in America and don't know what that is
mags421 0
Having a school dinner is like a fundraiser to get money for the school! We had them all the time!!
ilikeyourturtle 4
I don't think we do in Canada either.. not that I've heard of
Suaria 38
Well I think it depends on the school. My high school for the last two years has started on the 15th of August. Of course I don't even live in the south, but North West of America in the Bay Area.
DevilDoodle 0
HAHAHA! Your dad shouldn't known better... but that's FUNNY AS ****.
something41 0
how is "****" funny?
RJB 0
HOLY SHIT How is shit holy? JESUS CHRIST What does Jesus have to do with this? **** you Why do you want to do me? They are just phrases that in our society of our time Funny as **** is understood as really funny. btw urban dictionary ftw.
crazy_bipolar 0
ahaha you're my hero. i hate smartass's like that
Mandog222 0
Many ppl have asked me are u gay for saying **** you and i say i'm using it as a ******* insult but they're just being smart asses
jessii_fml 1
did u really have to get literal on the comment? jeez. just an expression.
777_alex_777 0
AHAHAHA u just made my day! thx 4 pointing that out =)
hobosaresexy 0
I love you.
SaintJimmy 0
That's what she said bwahhahahaha! @#1: GTFO pedophile.
92910bg 4
I have no idea what she's talking about
kissa148 3
hahahahha, that is so funny,
Mr_Tuff_Guy 0
LMFAO!!! WIN!
mhmmhmgood 0
THATS WHAT HE SAIDDDDDDD!!!!!!
parabola 0
um yes..thats what he DID say
xrrekcuhp 0
win.
becccers 14
WOW, thank you SO much for clearing that up. I was quite confused.
notlovingit 0
im sorry i died laughing ur dad should know better ;)
DeathByFalchion 0
Hahahahahahahaha...more like **** HER life.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Hahhahaha ooh lighten up :) its funny!