Love: Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get...

By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

agreeclassic 11 283

vote type 1 48 099

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By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

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By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

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cahlalsteel 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

hold your breath

FriskyTaco 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

At least he didn't shit the bed...

Comments

88sforlife 0

Monday 29 August 2011 8:16

I would slap him in the face wid his own dick.

aloha31 6

Monday 29 August 2011 8:46

You should have left as soon as u woke up!

Epic_Times 10

Monday 29 August 2011 16:15

#3 that's gross and YDI op. Could of said no.

hoonyer 17

Monday 29 August 2011 19:53

and thats your cue to get up and get out, both out of the house and out of that cycle

johnnie254 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:12

Hormones can be a truly unique mechanism

jayaysee 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:41

YDI. close ur legs :)

queenb1621 21

Tuesday 30 August 2011 5:12

That sucks

jerico616 14

Tuesday 30 August 2011 13:43

Drugs are fun, eh?

MommaLlama 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 14:57

When you lay down with dogs...

paigealeace13 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 0:56

I didn't realize it was that hard to keep ones legs closed. You should re evaluate your standards and stop drinking.

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Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

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Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML

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Today, I was sitting on park bench eating a sandwich when suddenly the bench broke and I fell and broke my arm. FML

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Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

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Today, my 16-year-old daughter heated some sugar cubes in the microwave, thinking it would make caster sugar. FML

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Today, it's my birthday. The only time people have contacted me is to ask who I voted for. FML

agreeclassic 11 618

vote type 1 914