Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
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Top comments
poopy910 8
what does your shoes have anything to do with it lol and that sucks majorly lol
TheBrianWing 0
Obviously you don't have any asshole friends. When you pass out at a party with your shoes on, it indicates that you were unintentional about losing consciousness and you get messed with. If you are found with shoes off, it indicates you just got bored and went to sleep and need to be left alone.
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Comments (187)
ShadowMystika 0
wow at the first couple of comments. "never pass out with your shoes on" duhh. If your shoes are off, you're sleeping. If they're on, you're drunk and asking for it.
emuhleighx 0
Everyone who doesn't understand the shoe comment is too young to be on FML. It has to do with drinking. Something you won't be doing for another 3+ years. #15 and #18 are both wrong, btw.
mcsnelly 5
um YDI for drinking so much you pass out. Really, people, if you're confused about the shoes thing, READ THE POSTS BEFORE YOU before just posting "oh I don't get the shoes part! Does that actually have anything to with the story?"
ps15 0
passing out with your shoes means that you didnt mean to pass out, and people can do stuff to you... so YDI for doing that in the first place
panda_rectum 0
i thought everyone knew the shoes rule!
Rawrrr14 0
Not cool. lol and I so just learned the shoes rule. It all makes sense now......
mcsnelly 5
#37--Enough with the all-caps. We see your comment. It's annoying.
Zombrex 0
To anyone confused about the shoes its a well known party rule, if you pass out with your shoes on you are fair game to get ****** with. and that sucks man FYL
xcutiepatootiex 0
#22.. Acne isn't always a result of bad hygiene you dumbass. Some people get just because of their HORMONES or their GENES or some other problem. Go to school child.
Amphysvena 11
#2 - The universal party rule is that if you pass out with your shoes on, it means you were only there for the free booze and not to enjoy the company of the other party-goers. thus, you punishment is being drawn with sharpie.