I really hope that magnet said "If you can read this than you're too close" or something like that

I hope it didn't say that. Then it'd be even more of an FML for OP getting a bumper sticker with bad grammar.

I can't be the only one who thought you had a giant magnet that pulled another car into yours.

As a automobile enthusiast, this breaks my heart. RIP brand new car.

Did they have a magnetic personality?

" If you can read this, you're too close"

It’s not just an opinion that magnets are attractive — it’s science!

Except, since the attractive side was already attached to OP's car, the side facing the other car should have repulsed it. Yeah, I live that too literal, joke ruiner life.

Magnets only repel other magnets, but they always attract other ferromagnetic materials (iron, cobalt, nickel). Joke saved!!!

Touché

No problem. This comment wasn’t gaining the wide public accolades as my exquisite “pooperoni.”

logically i cant see how this could happand.