Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML
Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
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Top comments
wombatkid 0
Ewwww!!!!!!!
mexicantumblewee 0
that's sick. you should make him eggs and scratch your sack with the spatchula
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Comments (59)
wombatkid 0
Ewwww!!!!!!!
BadPinkKitty07 0
there are no words.... 0.o
Starlight17 0
At least he wiped it first.... haha
inconvienentgurl 0
WOWWWW thats just sick. You need a better roommate with wayyyyyyyyyy better hygiene!! I would have talked to the roommate about their "problems with cleanliness" and if they chose not to change (or at least wash the freaking skewer)...well lets just say roomy won't be happy ne more w/ the way I teach my lessons ;)
brianred5 0
nasty
iSwag 0
that's disgusting...**** YOUR LIFE
FireNinja 3
Now that.... right there.... is discusting.....
gorillaz_fml 0
that is ******* disgusting
fmlsoobad 0
then cook him a diner with it and tell him/her you added some special "stuff" in it
daniisme 0
let's all just face it. Australians are freaks. nz better :D
Epicfailz01 0
I don't understand your unlegible words!!!!!
samantha_durano 6
yuum.
StoryOfTheYear 15
am I just crazy or is this mfl making you hungry?
Alhan_fml 0
OM NOM NOM!!!1!1!111
caisonaboat 0
That is so gross. FYL
Dopeyrox 0
That's pretty damn gross
iammclovin2010 0
that's just ****** nasty. i am mclovin!!!
Averizzle 0
Those sound delicious.
mcicycool 0
that's a very pretty picture
mexicantumblewee 0
that's sick. you should make him eggs and scratch your sack with the spatchula
lalaxoxo2995 0
ewww! so freakin disgusting
WhatANoob 0
yet...So genius
kendallfireHD 16
Op is a girl
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Vaginal Sack
Giorgio272 2
wow. cleary I'm front of your room mate your gonna have to do something else. it involves eggs 3 rashons of bacon and a cat. you know what I mean.
mzhonesty 0
...I'm dry heaving from this right now. Why are these men (I'm assuming your roommate is a man.) using kitchen tools on their bodies?
f_alltheirlives 3
Why assume?
youthink_fml 0
I watched someone who's water just broke, grab the dish towel, wipe up said water, and place the towel back on the sink. I don't think that was a man.
robertlovespi 3
You sexist bitch!
heeheehoo 0
At least you saw it. imagine if you didn't and happened to use that same skewer.
jennacide 0
How do you know this isn't the first time he has done this? Wonder why your food has had such a distinct taste to it? Yum, pus flavored chicken.... mmmmmfffffff. I used to wash things a second time before I used them since I never trusted my sister.